this is one of those clever titles

the rumor mill: disney is thinking of switching out lilo for someone with a smaller chest. you know, for that movie with that hot underage chick that has the incredible rack. you know, the movie where she’ll be wearing a tight fitting LEATHER racing suit. its called lohan: fully loaded, or something of the like. she’s fully loaded, that’s for sure. if they decide to still use her but digitally reduce her heavenly rack then please go ahead and kill me.

for this you can quote me, and send me royalty checks or something cause you know i’m gonna be the first to say it and that i’m right: topher grace will become the best actor ever. best. ever. watch in good company tonight and tell me i’m wrong. i didn’t think so. see? you know when you watch a movie and the whole time you’re thinking about how kick-ass it is for a certain actor to be playing the part? oh topher. i'm so glad they didn't go with asston kutcher, which they almost did. wow, they def threw topher into the right role. he’s just so funny and quirky and regular and when he? yeah, he’s pretty awesome.

on a related subject: turns out that i am in fact the last man standing in line. the uh, the line of not knowing how drop dead gorgous scarlet johansson is. yeah that line.

a good valentines day: when natalie portman shows up at your door. i guess i should say that she came in magazine form, but still, she showed up at my door. and that just rocks my world. hold that thought, it might rock UNLESS you’ve only jacked off skimmed through it once before finding it drenched in red wine the next morning because your roommate had some crazy drunken wine glass breaking valentines sex on/around the couch/coffee table.

some deeply sad news: turns out i won’t be sleeping with jessica alba anytime soon. shit. no longer sleeping around, honestly, what are the chances? – i was gonna call her tomorrow!

some deeply exciting news: CATHERINE KEENER WILL BE IN A MOVIE DUE OUT THIS YEAR! and when i use caps it means i'm in orgasm state. but seriously, i saw her in a preview this past weekend. at least i think it was her. i hope i didn't just imagine it. can she at least let us know why she took like 10 years off? are you really allowed to take so much time off when you're so cool?

its gettin hot in here: no really, it always gets hot in my office at 1pm.

yes, in fact there are some hot babes on the new survivor: but there are more hot guys than gals, i’ll say that much. AND WHAT THE ASS IS UP WITH THAT? HUH PROBST? true, last season the hot women outweighed the hot guys, but christ, its like this survivor is all 22 year old muscly, tanned, nevermind - i’m not good at describing hot guys. no, there are no shepherdresses this season, or previous playmates (ami cusack*), but they stuck with bringing on yet another “barista.” christ, enough with the barista’s. if that’s all you have to do to get on suvivor then just kick me towards the nearest starfucks. anyway, i’ve got a fav list already for sole survivor: stephanie or kim or tom or ian or bobby jon. yes, you read correctly, bobby jon is his name, and somehow i want him to win.

*it should be noted that ami was all of the above – she was a model, a barista, a playmate, and maybe even a farmer. lets have a moment of silence for goddess. i mean ami.

next time on razyboy.com - more of nothing.