my friend thanks you for the sex last night
this might be on craigslist, somewhere. might.
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man, i never witnessed anything so freaking crazy, seriously.
you were so friendly and outgoing and flirty and sexy and daring.
there we were, on the sidewalk, walking towards the bar, all depressed and bummed out and i won’t even tell why. 30 feet from the bar we see you running towards us, cigarette and smile in hand. i thought for sure you knew my friend when you jumped onto him and planted a kiss on his forehead. man are you a hugger! it took the duration of my cigarette for you to let go of him! you guys must go way back! the way you wouldn’t let go, the way you kept flirtatiously fondling his various body parts, now i’m starting to think this is some sort of girlfriend i never knew him to have! he never mentioned you to me before, how strange! boy were you two happy to see each other! i’m glad we decided stopped by for a quick drink!
but then after the cigarette we walked into the bar and you introduced yourself to him.
what?!
the fuck?
i may have thought it odd that i never got an introduction, but i didn’t think it was because you two had never met before.
and you didn’t stop with the hugging, the fondling, the kissing, the flirting.
then it was my buddy’s turn to make the quizzical face when you tried your routine with me. what? why the sudden loss of interest in my buddy? well, lets understand something - you’re hot. you’re sexy. you’re sweet. you’re certainly fun. these are not the reasons i didn’t reciprocate the fondling, the hugging, the kissing. it probably had EVERY FUCKING REASON IN THE WORLD to due with the fact that you are one CONFUSING AND CRAZY-ASS CHICK!. i’m going to start hugging and kissing and fondling you just after you jump up from my buddies lap? never. ever.
now you’ve got him confused and annoyed, so you start the routine over again with him. 10 minutes later you’re out the door and off to his place. you knew him for MAYBE 20 FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE YOU DECIDED IT MIGHT BE A SWEET IDEA TO GO BACK TO HIS PLACE AND FUCK UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN!
you are 22 at best. you are young. you are innocent. you look like a sweet girl. you are someone’s daughter, and you would not have made that someone proud last night. you were most definitely the hottest chick he’d seen that week, that he’d seen all year. unbelievably. a wet-dream come true.
i’m still waiting for him to call me and tell me details, and i’m sure they’ll be incredible.
trust me, if he didn’t say so already then he thanks you for the sex last night.
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man, i never witnessed anything so freaking crazy, seriously.
you were so friendly and outgoing and flirty and sexy and daring.
there we were, on the sidewalk, walking towards the bar, all depressed and bummed out and i won’t even tell why. 30 feet from the bar we see you running towards us, cigarette and smile in hand. i thought for sure you knew my friend when you jumped onto him and planted a kiss on his forehead. man are you a hugger! it took the duration of my cigarette for you to let go of him! you guys must go way back! the way you wouldn’t let go, the way you kept flirtatiously fondling his various body parts, now i’m starting to think this is some sort of girlfriend i never knew him to have! he never mentioned you to me before, how strange! boy were you two happy to see each other! i’m glad we decided stopped by for a quick drink!
but then after the cigarette we walked into the bar and you introduced yourself to him.
what?!
the fuck?
i may have thought it odd that i never got an introduction, but i didn’t think it was because you two had never met before.
and you didn’t stop with the hugging, the fondling, the kissing, the flirting.
then it was my buddy’s turn to make the quizzical face when you tried your routine with me. what? why the sudden loss of interest in my buddy? well, lets understand something - you’re hot. you’re sexy. you’re sweet. you’re certainly fun. these are not the reasons i didn’t reciprocate the fondling, the hugging, the kissing. it probably had EVERY FUCKING REASON IN THE WORLD to due with the fact that you are one CONFUSING AND CRAZY-ASS CHICK!. i’m going to start hugging and kissing and fondling you just after you jump up from my buddies lap? never. ever.
now you’ve got him confused and annoyed, so you start the routine over again with him. 10 minutes later you’re out the door and off to his place. you knew him for MAYBE 20 FUCKING MINUTES BEFORE YOU DECIDED IT MIGHT BE A SWEET IDEA TO GO BACK TO HIS PLACE AND FUCK UNTIL THE BREAK OF DAWN!
you are 22 at best. you are young. you are innocent. you look like a sweet girl. you are someone’s daughter, and you would not have made that someone proud last night. you were most definitely the hottest chick he’d seen that week, that he’d seen all year. unbelievably. a wet-dream come true.
i’m still waiting for him to call me and tell me details, and i’m sure they’ll be incredible.
trust me, if he didn’t say so already then he thanks you for the sex last night.
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