something real unreal

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maybe i met someone recently and decided to write about them. someone different. someone interesting. someone beautiful. someone intriguing. someone i never really got to know. someone...........someone.

maybe.

maybe it was fun to experience.

maybe it was fun to write about.

maybe it was fun to think about.

maybe it will be fun to read.

maybe.
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she’s introduced to you through a friend early one night at the bar. this was last week, this was the week before, this was some week ago, sometime. you see your friend wave to someone on the dance floor and now she’s making her way over towards you. you’re barely half a beer into the night so you’re nervous as hell. but you see this woman across the dance floor making her way towards you and your friend. amazed is you because this woman is more than just stunning. not, oh-my-got-did-i-just-see-her-in-maxim-last-month kind of sexy, but more like oh-my-god-did-i-just-die-and-go-to-heaven kind of beautiful. she’s walking toward you and has got this smile on her face and now you can’t help yourself from smiling back at her, regardless of the fact that you don’t even know her yet.

she’s going to be introduced to you in less than 5 seconds now. panicking is you.

you know what its like when you’re standing there waiting to be introduced and you’re nervous as shit because she’s beautiful and cool and how could you be so lucky to be shaking her hand in the very near future? how this introduction could just make your day? how lucky you’ll feel just to say hello to her and give her a smile, hoping for one of her own in return? how your voice shakes and your palms are sweating and you dance back and forth from foot to foot and constantly suck on your beer to take away from the nervousness? how you finally tell her your name and get to touch her hand for a brief moment and lock eyes while smiling from ear to ear?

but the moment goes by SO fast and seconds later she’s turning to meet someone else or go back to the dance floor and you wish for all the world that you could stop time and just stare at her smile, just rewind 4 seconds to your introduction and pause for an hour to soak-in her beauty. all you could wish for is her smile once more, her smile, at you.

so what do you do now? how can the night be saved? and wouldn’t it just be easier to forget about her right here, right now? wouldn’t that save eventual heartbreak?

no.

silly.

heartbreak slipped onto your agenda today without you knowing.

i’ve definitely met beautiful women before. i think. but when she comes back to talk to me an hour later i just don’t know what to do. she’s still 10 feet away from me and i’m just sitting there smiling at her.

i’m sitting.

i’m staring.

i’m smiling.

and she’s not even looking at me.

but now she has caught my eyes and thinks maybe she should come over and talk, or worse, ask me to dance. i have just seconds to remind myself that i can’t, i don’t, i just won’t dance. it turns out she just wants to talk. she can tell i’m the nervous and shy type, at least i hope. this, or she knows i’m absorbed in her beauty and she just wants to watch me, watch her.

and i’m not sure what we talked about, all i know is that it lasted about 5 minutes. i’m not even sure i was able to say a word and wouldn’t be surprised if i didn’t. i do remember perking up quite a bit when i heard, or thought i heard the word dance. i don’t even know if she was asking me but just to play it safe i blurted out “i don’t dance.” sure you can, i’ll show you she said. and i’m probably lying or dreaming here but maybe she kind of grabs my arm and starts putting it around her waist and smiling up at me real seductively. and i kind of lean down and whisper something in her ear and maybe my heart skips a few beats and i hold my breath as i do this and as i move her hair away from her ear maybe i’m sighing as i smell the shampoo she uses and i’m floating and laughing and smiling because i’ve definitely reached an incredible moment.

now pretend this has never happened to you and you’re oblivious of how to really act and respond and use caution and reality to your advantage. i’m trapped. i am under her power and will do anything she says. only i won’t dance.

so instead we stay there and i probably tell her some boring story about what i do and where i’m from and how i know so-and-so, and then she might have told me how she knows so-and-so from such-and-such. then we no doubt ran out of things to say, which i guess was fine with me because i could concentrate on just being able to stare at her. obviously this is when the awkwardness started. smooth was not me. possible topics of conversation were not popping into my head and she was probably growing a bit anxious to drop me and head back to the dance floor. but then my brain actually starts to function and i pick up on something and know enough to actually act on it:
“um, you don’t have a drink”
“would you mind getting me a drink?”
and now i’m floating, i’m on cloud nine because she’s all smiling seductively again at me as she asks me and i’m ready to do practically anything for her and can’t wait to actually buy her a drink. i think to myself that this could be the coolest thing in the world. and am i crazy? do normal people get this excited over buying beautiful women drinks?

but while you’re getting the drinks you think to yourself how much more appropriate shooting yourself in the head would be because that’s the only sensible thing to do when someone that pretty asks you to dance and you say no. but then you remember who owns the bar and who would have to clean up the mess. that or you look back to her and she’s smiling again and you just can’t turn away from it, even when the bartender is tapping your shoulder and shouting for money.

so maybe the night goes on and you watch her dance and watch her dance and watch her dance. and you dream that you had the courage to just get up there, because you know its the only chance you have.

and so by the end of the night you’re kicking yourself for being so shy and for not having the ability to just ask for her number or ask to see her again even though you know it would be impossible. you’re kicking yourself because you don’t even know if that’s what you do in situations like this. and you’re definitely almost crying now because you don’t know what to do...........you’re too shy, you’re too happy, too confused, too sad to say goodbye and still too struck by her beauty to formulate a complete sentence.

but she knows this already and knows what to do. she makes a point to touch my arms and tell me that it was really nice to meet me, and i tell her the same. but i’m looking into her eyes and they’re much bigger than before and her eyebrows seem to be questioning me. and i just want to put my arm around her and hug her and tell her how i feel and tell her how much i can lose myself in her smile and how she has mesmerized me the whole night. she’s standing there waiting for me to say this to her. and you need to picture her standing there: she can tell i’m struggling to find the courage to say this so she moves her hands to mine and her eyes just get bigger and bigger with hope and those eyebrows keep questioning me and her shoulders get more and more tense and move up towards her neck. she’s waiting and she knows i’m close to saying something, we both know. this has all happened in a moment, and in a moment it will be gone forever.

but alas our hero is too shy. he manages to mention how he’ll be back tomorrow night and that she should stop by sometime if she can, but we know already that the moment was lost. this is when the heartbreak starts in. because maybe they do see each other the next night, but the timing is wrong and he just wants to go someplace quiet to talk and she just wants to dance. they might not say this but you can tell just by looking at them. you can tell they’re happy to see each other the next night, but everyone knows nothing is going to happen.

and now the music has stopped again for the night and last call has been made. security is escorting everyone out. our hero is smart enough to actually go back up to her to say goodbye forever, again. but she’s been through this before and doesn’t even get excited about the situation. she knows what’s going to happen again and tonight there are no big eyes or questioning eyebrows. no tense shoulders and no reaching for each others arms. our hero can still save the night with the right words, but he’s forgot them or most likely doesn’t even know what they need to be.

she knows this.

he knows this.

and so a sad goodbye is given and they both lower their heads as they turn to leave, never to see each other again.

and yet maybe our hero has not lost all, because as he turns away you can see him kind of catch his breath suddenly as if he were stopping himself from crying, or as if he just came to a realization. and now you can see a smile appear on his face ever so slowly.

he has her smile in his head, and this he will never be able to let go.

he may never see her again, but he will never lose sight of her

dancing

and smiling

and looking just as beautiful as ever.

round 2 out west this summer

on thursday august 12th i flew out of logan airport for my second trip out west this summer, this time for a week and a half.

i made it to the airport 25 minutes before my departure on the 12th (the T was blowing my ass. or, more like i wish because it was so stinking hot) only to wait an extra hour and a half because the plane needed to be washed or some shit. this put me in a bind for my layover in chicago, which was suppose to only be an hour. i got off the plane in full sprint at chicago at 9:30, desperately trying to make a plane that was most likely already in the air. fortunately they were still awaiting a co-pilot, whom i walked onboard with – one minute later would have been too late. with my mind finally at ease i was able to focus on my reading for the second leg of the flight out.

arriving in phoenix i met up with ardie (host of the trip and high school friend), oz (wizard of the trip and high school friend ), and roanes (a lifelong friend of oz whom i had somehow never met or even heard of). the surprise arrival had already happened for ardie because he hadn’t a clue that oz and roanes were showing up for the trip. having not seen ardie in over 3 years we had an hour and a half trip back to where he lives in prescott, az to catch up. a quick stop at his bar (to be described later), a quick game of play-blackjack at his house and it was time for some shuteye, being ass-early in the morning already.

we were up way too early the next morning for quick trip down to the bar with ardie to do a little work and pick up some breakfast supplies. after eating and meeting his partner in business/housemate/friend/ polo, we (ardie, polo, oz, roanes and raz) decided to go take a hike.......in a car. bowling was next on the to-do list and i think polo forgot to tell us he was a pro bowler at one point because his score was more than the rest of ours combined. next up was shopping for dinner. we left the oz in the produce department with strict instructions to take no more than 300 photos of everything while the rest of us shopped for the essentials to make a taco dinner. having filled ourselves on tacos we got dressed, or, in my case threw on the (new!)grey fleece, and headed to the bar. fortunately for us guests ardie and polo happen to own the coolest bar in all of arizona – matt’s longhorn saloon. situated on whiskey row in downtown prescott matt’s longhorn saloon has been around for about a hundred years. ardie and polo bought it 3 years ago and have since turned it into the most well-known country bar in prescott, if not arizona. the size of the bar is nothing like what we’re used to here in boston and cambridge, being that it can hold well over 300 people plus a band. i don’t know how ardie and polo were able to do such a good job in taking over the bar; making it such huge success so incredibly fast, but the outcome is phenomenal. i was quite impressed as i watched them handle problems while hanging out with us that night. hosting a live band, serving a constant 200+ customers all night, and managing 15 or so employees can’t be easy. anyway, the drinking began immediately and never let-up all night. bottles of corona and numerous shots were passed around all night while we jammed and danced to the live music (um, no. all the alcohol in the world couldn’t get me to dance). many hours later we found our way home and into the hot-tub for the longest soak of my life. i don’t know if it was the drinks or the soak, but i was a more than a little dizzy when i got out. i’m still not sure how we all didn’t drown ourselves that night.

the next day i still couldn’t sleep late and we lazed around before heading off to a trip to jerome/sedona. next time i’m there i’ll def spend some more time in jerome checking out how its possible to build a town on the side of a cliff. some quick pictures around sedona were taken (must have forgotten my camera) and we were off to slide-rock. slide-rock park is one of the coolest parks i’ve been to. set inside a canyon is a river that was found to be an excellent “natural water slide.” the river has formed the perfect water slide that flows over smooth and slick rock for a couple hundred yards. hundreds of people had the same idea as we did that day, probably because the weather was a perfect 100 degree’s. dipping into the 50 degree water almost turned me away, but fortunately i got used to it and gave it a try. we settled in for a quick nap in the sun while watching the oz take some jumps off the cliff into the river. racing home we quickly changed for our next adventure of the day, the prescott rough stock rodeo. i had never been to anything like it before and was quite amazed the entire time. watching men and women ride horses and bulls bareback was incredibly thrilling and scary at the same time. ardie and polo got us some “back stage passes” that allowed us to stand on top of the gates and watch everyone sit on the bulls before they let them out of the gate. this got us really close to the action as we watched people get tossed off no more than 10 feet in front of us. oh and by the way, a note here for those who are planning on going to a rodeo soon – it would be probably be a good idea to change out of your cargo shorts, t-shirt and definitely those birkenstock sandals. proper wear includes cowboy boots, tight jeans, denim shirt and cowboy hat. accessories include chewing tobacco, a bud light, dirt, and a really big truck. i definitely had a good time, and enjoyed looking at the cowboys (and cowgirls!) almost as much as the rodeo itself. the after party for the rodeo was of course held at matt’s longhorn saloon, which was where we were headed ourselves. 300 people filled the bar when we got back and i had an incredibly hard time avoiding all the cowboy boots with my sandals. with a smile one guy said to me “best watch your step with those things on son.” i think we (us visitors) were the only ones in the bar without proper cowboy (or cowgirls) attire. serious drinking occurred again and we (everyone but i) enjoyed dancing to the live band once again. somewhere along the line we lost track of the oz, and later found out that she had cornered a few cowboys and.........well, maybe that doesn’t belong in the blog. i never thought i’d enjoy listening to country music (or going to a country bar for that matter), but i really had a great time and actually enjoyed most of the music while there.

the next day we woke up late and made some strawberry shortcake for breakfast before packing up the car for a trip to phoenix. we picked up a friend (pink) and headed to the airport/mexico. we had to say goodbye to oz and roanes, as we couldn’t convince them to skip work and head down to mexico with us. after doing some MAJOR grocery shopping for the three days we’d be down there (equivalent of what i might eat in two months) the four of us (ardie, polo, pink and i) jumped back into the car and sped down to the boarder so that we could make the 12pm closing time. a dust storm was threatening to hold us back a bit, but we still made the boarder with plenty of time to spare. BUT FIRST!!!! oh my god! a dream come true! a trip to the in-n-out burger right outside of phoenix! wow, i barely thought they were even real, having only heard about them in my favorite movie ever – the big lebowski. i almost couldn’t believe what i was seeing when we drove past the sign and i immediately demanded that we pull over and eat (it was close to being passed up for taco bell, which would have put me in tears). i’ll save the details for a letter to them or a separate blog entry about them. we crossed the boarder and it took us an hour to get to the condo that ardie and polo own in rocky point, mexico. it was over 100 degrees at 1am when we arrived, and proceeded to pass-out having unloaded.

the next day included lots of beach action, as the condo overlooks the water/beach. swimming in the water was like taking a nice warm bath, so we spent most of the afternoon floating in the waves. we ended up spending a fair amount of the day in the water and relaxing on the beach. there were quite a few local vendors selling food and souvenirs on the beach, and they had no problem walking right up to us and dropping jewelry or food right on our towels for us to look at. pink couldn’t resist having her hair braided and spend a good hour having someone put braids in her hair, with pink beads of course. the remainder of the afternoon was spent at the pool before he headed inside (with air-conditioning!) to make dinner and get ready to go out for the night. pork chops on the grill with rice, corn and rolls were made before we headed back to the beach at nightfall. ardie had purchased half the fireworks in mexico earlier in the day and was planning on giving us a show to remember. for the next half-hour we sat on the beach and watched ardie set-off some incredible fireworks, all while trying not to set himself off. next up was a night on the town. we visited 3 different local bars and proceeded to drink lots of tequilla and dos equis before settling into a place that had a shuffleboard. after the first game i was hooked. shuffleboard doesn’t look to be thrilling but it definitely proved me wrong. obviously, like any other ultra-slow-mode sport i’ve played, i became an expert after the first couple shots and ardie and i went on to dominate. last stop of the night was at a taco stand that we convinced ourselves must be ok to eat at. there were hundreds of them around, all open, but most looked incredibly scary at best. once back in the air conditioned condo it was not hard to pass-out immediately.

the next day would be my last full day in mexico and arizona before i headed to seattle for part two of the trip. the beginning of the day was spent much like the previous, with lots of ocean swimming, beach napping, sand castle building, pool swimming, and banana boat riding. dinner was made in the condo again in rapid-fire mode as we raced to finish in time so we could do some more fireworks before the beach “curfew.”ardie put on another excellent show, and had the entire beach screaming for more during the finale. as we prepared to get ready for another night out i tried to get some more opinions about what i should do about part two of my trip. tomorrow i was planning on flying up to see a friend in seattle but i had been told by this friend that she was sick and it was turning out to be a really bad time to visit her (this is the short version). ardie and polo and pink were telling me that it would be great if i could stay and they would love it and wouldn’t mind and such. so it sounded like it would be a better idea to stay with them rather than head to seattle. another very long story short is that ardie was finally able to bribe someone with a phone so i could make a call to the airline to change my ticket (for some reason 800 numbers cannot be dialed from payphones/calling cards in mexico). after this was done my mind was settled and we headed to the bars for some much needed beer. we went with just two bars tonight, making sure to leave even more time at the last bar for extended shuffleboard playing. ardie and i started out ok at the shuffleboard, but some professional players showed up an hour later and proceed to put us in our place. maybe it was the boobs that i couldn’t keep my eyes off of, but i’m thinking they were professionals. we finished the night at the same taco stand, all of us ordering much more than the previous night, knowing they could be trusted a little more having not gotten sick from the last night.

wednesday, a day of traveling. we woke up late and spent some time in the pool deciding what to do. we knew we had to leave today to get back to prescott, but we were trying to figure out if it would be a good idea to go to las vegas. as soon as we convinced ourselves it would be a good idea we packed the car and got on the road, at 4pm. after a few stops for food and gas and the airport to pick up a car we made it to the bar at 10:30pm. we flew into the bar like screaming eagles and did some serious work for about an hour and a half before jumping back into the car and heading to the house to re-pack. by 1am we were back on the road, headed for vegas. now, vegas is about a 4 hour drive from prescott. we were no more than an hour on the road before ardie points ahead of us and tells me that we can see the lights of vegas in the distance. to me this was fascinating, to be 3 hours and a million miles away from vegas, yet look out in the distance at 2am in the morning and think the sun must be rising behind the mountains ahead. i may have been struggling to stay awake and keep our driver awake the whole time, but once we passed the hover dam and headed downtown i was all wide-eye and smiling. 5am in the morning and this town was awake as ever, of course. by 5:30am we had checked into the mgm grand and collapsed on our beds.

first stop for me at 10am the next morning was starbucks. i had the past 5 days to feed my craving for an ice coffee and boy was i happy (and very surprised) to see one right in the casino. now, starbucks coffee is generally fairly expensive, as in its some of the most expensive coffee you can find. but starbucks coffee located inside a casino is more than double the prices you’ll find at any other location. only because it had been ages since my last i decided to make the purchase, $4.78 for my regular $1.87 tall iced americano. next stop was the lion exhibit, as i had to make sure my eyes weren’t playing games with me. sure enough there were 3 lions and a couple trainers jumping around in a huge lion playground and talking to the crowd. after going back to the room to see if anyone was awake i found ardie, polo and pink ready to hit the streets to search for some good gambling locations. we decided to try out the new monorail system and take it wherever it went just to see how cool it was. overall impression is that it doesn’t go very far (yet) and its quite expensive - $3 a ride, $10 24hrs. last stop was the sahara so we got off and headed inside to do some gambling. i was able to watch the 3 of them play blackjack for about 5 minutes before i decided i needed to find a poker table. ten minutes later i was sitting down at my usual low-limit hold’em table, only this time in vegas. i’ll eliminate the boring part of the next 2 hours of play and just continue. next stop was a quick taxi ride away, circus circus. actually the same could be said about the next 10 places we went, just replace circus circus with the name of every other casino in vegas. towards nighttime we headed down to freemont street where i immediately located binions horseshoe casino and walked right in. possibly the most important casino for me to visit, i was some excited to finally see it in person. i was finally able to sit down and play poker in the most famous poker room in all the world. i spent about the next 2 hours between the poker table and the light show right outside the casino. next were the shows at treasure island and the bellagio. i was least impressed with the treasure island volcano show, but then again we didn’t have the best viewing position. the bellagio though, that’s another story. they have the famous water shows every 15 minutes at night and we arrived at 11:10. we caught the 11:15 just in time, but that only made us want to stay and watch the 11:30 even more. the 11:30 show was so good that we decided we had to stay for the 11:45. hundreds, maybe thousands of people were there in front of the casino watching the water show, it was absolutely awesome and i probably would have been there all day if we had done the show earlier. after some walking around the bellagio and taking in the sights (its like a museum) we jumped back into a cab and went back to the mgm for some dinner. the cab driver was anxious to take us to a strip club and was really feeding us some tempting options on the ride back though. so sure enough..............it was bedtime.

the next day i was up too early so i decided to have starbucks rape me again before heading across the street to ny, ny. since i’ll never find myself in the actual city of ny, i figured i might as well visit something like it. after that was the tropicana before i headed to the room to check on the sleeping status of the rest of the gang. by 1pm we were checked out of the hotel and eating somewhere inside ny, ny when someone had the grand idea of going on the roller coaster ride. hmm, not generally a fan of roller coaster i convinced myself that it might be safe and perhaps even fun. fun yes. safe i don’t know. i think my head got snapped in way too many directions and my throat didn’t appreciate all the screaming, but we all made it to the end in one piece. after some more gambling and poker action at the mirage and monte carlo we decided to hit the wax museum. having never been to one before i found it to be quite interesting, though was disappointed to see the worse piece be mick jagger. even more cool was that it was free because polo decided to pay for it with his winning from getting a royal flush on video poker. actually, it should be said that quite a few things were compliments of ardie and polo (whom i can’t thank enough) which made being in vegas much cooler and more affordable than would be if i was on my own. after the museum and some more gambling it was time to hit the road, with a stop at the bar before calling it a night back in prescott.

saturday morning i slept in much more than i ever had on the trip and woke up to watch a few dukes of hazard episodes by myself before ardie showed up and brought me down to the bar to meet a few people. he had four friends – danny boy, vice, boobs and patty that were serious drinkers and were nice enough to buy me a few beers, some shots and a couple tamales. i had a blast talking to them and staring at the boobs, and they had a blast trying to get me to loosen up a bit. they convinced me that i need to head back out there next summer for a party at the bar already being planned over the 4th of july........sounded like a time not to miss. after a little investigative work that i should probably keep on the dl, ardie and i stopped by polo’s parents house for a bite to eat during a family reunion. having convinced a few of his family members to join us at the bar we drove down to matt’s longhorn saloon for yet another night of fun times drinking and dancing and listening to good music. i definitely drank too much that night but had a great time and was sad knowing it would be my last night at the bar.

the next day i woke up and watched a movie before packing up and getting ready for my trip back home, my LONG trip back home. we left the house at 3pm, just barely making it to the airport on time for my flight at 6:20. back at home i had remembered to leave my pocket knife/money clip in my bag, thinking i would be checking it and not taking it on board with me. but then i realized that i wouldn’t have time to get it from baggage claim in seattle before my next flight out so i brought it with me on the plane, or, i tried to. all hell broke loose as it went through the x-ray and i was grabbed and immediately brought to an interrogation room. it was at this point that i remembered what it probably was and felt a little bit relieved. long story short is that they took away my money clip that i have had for about 5 years now, so i was a bit annoyed. with about 10 minutes till my plane was to leave they let me go and i got on the plane starving and kind of pissed off. 3 hours later i was in seattle (taking my original flight back home from seattle, which was my cheapest option during the changing of plans) ready to grab something to eat, but as i was getting out of the gate from the plane i heard the announcement for my flight to boston (suppose to be an hour and a half delay) already being called out – “please board immediately for flight 6844 to boston as your seat will be sold if you are not on board.” now i’m really annoyed because its 9:45pm, the plane doesn’t leave until 11pm, and i have yet to eat more than a bowl of golden grams all day. i boarded the plane immediately though and waited until the plane was full (10:30pm) for our early departure, still unsure why we had to leave early, and never getting any kind of communication about the early departure. i arrived in boston at 7am having slept maybe an hour because my stomach was begging for food. i left the airport weak and tired having devoured two fucking donuts egg bagels. the ice coffee kept me awake enough to find my way home, but the work day was pretty much hell, even after 3 ice coffee’s.

most amazed by: matt’s longhorn saloon, the bellagio water show, how many incredibly nice people/family members ardie and polo have, how i was the only person in all of az with a beard (and got a lot of odd stares), and that pretty little cowgirl i met at the bar.
least impressed by: the heat in mexico
thankful for: knowing someone like ardie and polo who were gracious enough to let me come stay/visit

i took quite a few photos with my imaginary digital camera, and uploaded them to my imaginary ibook computer, which is probably why i haven’t posted any pictures from the trip yet.

miles driven: 1820
hours driven: 38.5
miles flown: 5,956
hours flown: 14 1/2

corona: 21
dos equis: 7
some other kind of mexican beer : 4
tequilla shots: 10
washington apples: 3
jagermeister shots: 6 (6 too many)
lemon drops: 1
questionable/unknown shots: 3

best quotes from trip:

“you know what’s missing from this bar? all the guys that live in vail.”
my response – “you think? what about all these cowboys though?”
“nothing here i’d like to ride.”

“can i get a show of hands for all the double d’s in the house!?”

“i’ll tell ya.......the odds are looking pretty good at this table.”

“i think his penis is the best i’ve ever seen, 6 inches and quite a bit of girth, just what i like.”

“raz did you think these tits are real? my god i’m 44 years old! do you think they’d still look this good at my age!?”

so there it is, one kick-ass trip. i had an awesome time and can’t thank polo and ardie enough for hosting me and showing me such a good time. i’m more than impressed with what they’ve done with their bar, their house and their condo in mexico. they were able to put up with me for longer than originally anticipated, and i thank them again and again for being able to do so. to all those that i met out there – polo (and family), pink, roanes, everyone at the bar, danny boy, boobs, vice, patty and everyone else i’m forgetting, thank you for showing me how great az is and for being so incredibly friendly!

i take out the trash on wednesdays

every wednesday night at about 9pm i’m hauling garbage and recycling to the curb. not so much garbage lately though because we compost just about everything – meat, old bananas, old chemicals found under the sink, the roommates shoes when she’s not looking, everything. there ain’t nothing that compost won’t eat. we’ve got worms the size of my arm to feed in there now.

if i’m lucky i’ll be taking out the recycling at the same time eliot comes around searching for cans. eliot is my favorite can hunter. he’s very nice and always wants to tell me something. like where he used to work (harvard), how he can’t afford his truck payments anymore (toyota tacoma) or who is going to be the next president (W). about six months ago it was a def kerry, now he’s a def bush. i keep telling him there’s hope but he’ll have nothing of it. the conversation is usually no more than 2 minutes, because he can’t afford to stop and talk while new buckets of cans are being brought to the curb, there’s an incredible amount of competition. i almost feel like i should offer him a deal or something to guarantee getting our bottles every week (which is ample because my roommate is an alcoholic). i feel i should tell him where we keep our bin outside, and he can come get the bin and put it on the curb every week for us, and in return he’d be guaranteed the bottles. this way he’d get them every week instead of every 3rd or 4th week or whatever. i don’t know, i’m torn. i want him to have the bottles, but i also would miss talking to him now and then, even if it is for only 3 or 4 minutes a month.

and now for something incredibly old....

i’m very late to work on a mid-dec morning and i decide to stop at starbucks for some “juice” to perk me up.

i’m behind someone who i’ll call "the stupidest tool that ever tooled" and i watch an interesting conversation between this person and a starbucks employee…..

stupidest tool that ever tooled: (looking very tired, very stupid, very moronic, and very toolish, hence his name) “can i get an eggnog?, make that a tall eggnog i guess.”

starbucks employee: (looking chipper as ever, as they always are. i’m sure they’re required to drink espresso on a constant basis because i’ve never seen a tired starbucks employee. 9 in the morning and this dude is bouncing off walls and barking drink orders to his sidekick with holiday cheer.) “um, i’m sorry but we’re out of eggnog, can i get you something else?”

stupidest tool that ever tooled: (i can now notice him actually getting stupider and more toolish as i stand behind him) “wait, you mean you literally don’t have anymore eggnog?”

starbucks employee: (now looking confused as ever at his question) “well, um, yes, we literally don’t have anymore eggnog”

stupidest tool that ever tooled: (acting like any other customer not able to get eggnog at 9 in the morning - oh wait, nobody orders eggnog in the morning) “this is some kind of joke, right? you’re trying to tell me that you’ve literally run out of eggnog” (as if he hadn’t already used and emphasized that word enough, and in horrible context)

starbucks employee: (and i swear he said this) “i am literally telling you that we have literally run out of eggnog”

stupidest tool that ever tooled: (not even catching wind of the employee making fun of him) “well um, well.......you guys are fucking liars! why would you be out of eggnog?! i don’t understand!” (after this intelligent retort he walks out, probably going into the library next door and demanding some eggnog from them).

starbucks employee: (talking to me and another starbucks employee when stupidest tool that ever tooled is out of the store) “well, you gotta love some parts of this job. where else do you meet really stupid people this early in the morning?”

dear victoria's secret,

well shimmer me sexy.

you need to stop, stop, stop, stop. i think you’ve got me way too hooked. those semi-annual sale commercials are driving me crazy. or maybe its the body by victoria promotion you got going now that has me captivated. i can’t keep track of all your ads, but frankly i guess it doesn’t matter, long as you keep those models staring at me through the tv. you gots models that are out of this world. out of this world. that's no secret.

are your print and tv ads for men or women? do you have those hot models on the boob tube just so all us guys go wild and start talking about them like all the time and start posting about them on the web and women listen read and get all jealous and shit and rush out to your stores and buy all that lingerie just to satisfy their men because because? please please please tell me i’m right.

so does the “it’s back” promotion have anything to do with a woman's actual back? i’m a guy, i’m clueless. maybe i’m paying too much attention to the women instead of what you’re trying to say in the commercials. if not then what is the “it’s back” really all about?

i’m not so sure about your (new?) clothing line. i like the whole keeping everything you sell very secretive and sexy and sexy and sexy. what’s with the new pants and shirts? i’m sure you can make some pants that show some nice form in the you-know-what-area, but what’s so secret about them? and do you really sell sweaters now? how is a sweater staying with your image as tight fitting, sleek, smooth, sexy, and body shaped? i say stay with the bras and panties, maybe the swimwear, the sleepwear can stay, the beauty products can stay, but the clothing and shoes may need to be re-thought a bit.

does tyra banks just get younger every year? hasn’t she been modeling for you for like 10 years? isn’t she only like 25? my god that woman is hot as hot and whatever you do don’t lose her, she’s your bread and butter.

and you know what i hate? – when you walk by one of your stores and you kind of peek inside and try not to stare too much because you think there are a bunch of women in there just waiting to tell you to piss-off and leave them alone. how its the only store you really want to go into out of the entire mall, yet you can’t because you’re too scared? how you know that if you walk in you’ll see a parade of women just walking around in push-up bras and demi cups and seamless bras and no wire bras and miracle bras and v-string panties and thongs and low rise panties and bikinis and oh my god i’m turning myself on right now. how you know they’ll ask you for your opinion and if they feel like the right size and, well, maybe i went too far.

or, you know what i wish i could hate? when you actually get the courage to go in a store and you’re looking for something real sexy for your real sexy and you haven’t a clue the fuck to do. you’re in a store filled with bras and panties and you just freeze because there’s so much naughtiness surrounding you. you feel like you just woke up in a dream because you’re face to face with panties and bras and women and women and more women asking you if you need any help and if you can describe the physical characteristics of your naked girlfriend to them and if her boobs are kind of like this and now you’ve got us just where you want us because we’re frozen and your employees are throwing handfuls of naughty lingerie into bags and this kind of perfume and that kind of body lotion and we just hand you our credit cards and get the shit out of there because we’re so scared and confused and excited and sexed and and.

you know?

oooooh boy. you got me going there. but really, you’ve got a good thing going, my hat is off to you. you’ve got one of the best brands out there, just as long as men keep on finding women sexy. so....... basically you’re set for awhile.

loving your angels forever,

raz

the latest craigslist post

you – standing in line at peet’s coffee yesterday in harvard square at about 2pm, ordering an iced coffee with a shot of something-er-other.

me – that guy a few feet behind you that kept on pushing and trying to get ahead of the other people in line just to catch another look at you. that guy who was eyeing you kind of funny and licking his lips while moaning? me. that guy behind you closing his eyes now and then trying to visualize you naked and trying to get a permanent imprint of your bod in his brain? me. not following me here? maybe this will help - i was also trying to grab your ass, you may have felt a hand kind of pinch your right ass-cheek to make sure it was real? me.

i could tell you were playing hard to get though because you gave a yelp when i pinched your sweet buttocks and turned to leave without even saying hi to me. i saw your eyes though babe, that was either an evil stare or the fuck-me-hard-right-now stare, i couldn’t tell for sure. i dig your style babe, sometimes i play hard to get, its fun.

i guess it turned you on when i followed you out of the store because you started walking really fast, remember? yeah, and i bet you didn’t think i’d start running after you when you decided to toss the coffee and start sprinting?

last laugh is on me though because you took the hard to get play too far – i can’t sprint for shit. you lost me when you ducked into urban outfitters and went out the other side somewhere.

if you’re looking to play a few more games just drop me a line, i’m up for it. i’m wicked worth it. here’s your second chance babe. email me. ok?

my letter to jetblue today:

dear jetblue,

you rock my world. you are the cool of cool. you are like no other. you have set a new standard for the airline industry.

how are you cool? –

those cool little tv’s in each seat?
those cool (unlimited!) little snacks and drinks?
those funny flight attendants and pilots?
the amazing amount of room in every seat?
those incredibly cheap fares?

tomorrow i’m leaving on a different airline and i’m sorry, i really am. but you don’t fly to phoenix from boston, or phoenix to seattle, or seattle to boston. why don’t you? you break my heart and i dread having to fly for so long without my little tv. now my only options are to just sit there and try to read or sleep, which is always impossible for me. i won’t be getting any cool snacks and drinks, instead i’ll be getting a miniature bag of peanuts and a soda instead of iced tea. i won’t be looking forward to the announcements from the flight attendants or the pilot, instead i’ll be trying to cover my ears and ignore them. and since i don’t have a first class ticket i’ll be crammed in next to joey-snores-a-lot and cathy-cries-a-lot instead of relaxing and stretching out in your leather lazy-boy recliner seats.

be warned blue, you need to watch out for the competition. that new ted airline that broke off of united? trouble. that new song airline that is giving out like a million new ipod mini’s and 10 million itunes songs? trouble. the fact that southwest now pays its customers to fly with them? trouble. that new independence airline that has those print ads that make absolutely no sense? well, shouldn’t be too much trouble.

can you do me a favor? can you start doing flights to seattle from boston? could you do that for me? i don’t do nyc at all so i can’t take your cheap jfk - tacoma flight ever. i’ve got a friend out there that i’d love to see more often but you just ain’t helping me here. help me help you. you fly into about 20 cities in florida, just slash one of those and open up a new logan – tacoma run. please?

in conclusion: keep the cheap eats and direct tv. keep on hiring those comedians that also know how to fly planes. keep an eye out for those idiots who are trying to steal your style. give yourself a pat on the back for being so innovative and keeping the cool. and open up that logan - tacoma run sooner than later.

lovin’ ya,

raz

my office has a window

the entire 7 floor building only has like 10 windows, so in a way i’m pretty lucky to have a window in my office. i was told when i started here that the building won some kind of award for its design. to this i said “bullshit, this building is just a load of brick and crap put together by someone completely retarded.” later the award was confirmed, along with my statement. but since then i’ve been trying to figure out why it won this award.

it took about a year and a half before i began to appreciate the design concept. i’m really starting to dig the castle-like features, especially the moat and the secret staircase. how many buildings do you know of that have a moat and a secret staircase? not only do we have a moat, but we have two drawbridges! – one on either side of the building! or, we used to at least. unfortunately they had to make the drawbridges permanent bridges like 20 years ago because in the winter/spring the bridges would expand/contract too much and started to fall apart. so now we’re stuck with boring permanent bridges, and pretty vulnerable to any kind of attack in my opinion.

i could tell more about this “castle” i work in, but this is really just about my window. so each window in the building is suppose to face or be positioned towards a certain open area where we would be in danger of cannon fire (to go along with the castle idea). i’ve always said they took the theme a little too far when it came to the lack of windows. but anyway, i’m up there on the 5th floor with a window that faces the cambridge common. my window is like the typical castle window – tall and skinny, but with glass. i have to say, i have a pretty incredible view. the window makes me want to stare out it like all the time. i stare out it and i daydream. i stare out it and just think. i stare out it and just watch. this is always when someone walks into my office and i have to turn around and tell them i was on guard duty, keeping an eye out for any cannon attack. if i had a camera i’d be able to show you how cool it looks when its snowing on the common. or when the sun sets over the city at night. or all the pretty colored trees in the fall. or the black tie parties in the gated backyard of the mansion next to us. or...........

to keep things incredibly boring and horribly written:

two months ago i’m looking out the window at the building below us and i’m watching some painters hop out of a truck and start to unload some ladders and paint and shit. its funny though, because just this spring i was thinking how the building needed new paint and that they would probably hire someone to do it this summer. having painted like a million houses myself i tried to give it a rough estimate, and i came up with the following: it would take 2 people 2 weeks to scrape, prime and give it two coats of paint, give or take for rainy weather. total bill would be somewhere around $5,000 – but then again i’d have to double check that because who knows what the markup is in cambridge. anyway, i’m more than curious how close i can come to this estimate and start to keep a close eye on the work that these painters are doing.

day 1, 10am: unloaded equipment. walked around house like 30 times. did a lot of pointing at cars parked in the parking lot right next to the house. sat in the shade and had lunch for about 2 hours (my kind of lunch!). left after lunch.

day 2, 10:30am: 1st worker arrives and sits on lawn, hour later 3 others arrive and do the same until the boss shows up and gives a speech for an hour or so, then he leaves. walked behind the shed and smoked a joint. then they continue to sit in the shade and talk until 3pm when they leave.

day 3, 10am: the 4 workers show up and put up a few ladders. its hot out, so they only spend about 10 minutes at a time up on the ladders scraping paint. no progress by lunchtime. after lunch and a joint behind the shed a buddy of theirs stops by on his new motorcycle, which they look at and talk about for about 2 hours, then quit for the day.

day 4,5,6,7,8,9 &10: repeat day 3 but add one more trip behind the shed for each new day.

day 11: first bucket of paint opened and the primer is applied. its about this time that i stop keeping track of their progress and realize its going to take these guys all summer to finish this house. instead i keep track of a few memorable moments:

-the time one of them spilled a bucket of paint all over himself. – he was at the top of the ladder and he stupidly set the bucket on the slanted roof above him as he was getting ready to paint on the other side of the ladder. the bucket tipped on its own as soon as he set it on the roof. funny shit as i look out and see him screaming for his buddies behind the shed. of course they quit for the day after that incident.

-the time they broke a windshield of a car when a ladder fell. (i didn’t see this actually happen unfortunately, i only saw the aftermath).

-the time one of them was moving a ladder and hit someone’s truck in the parking lot, putting a big dent in the drivers side door. watching them debate over what they were going to do about it was the best part. it took them like 20 minutes before they figured out it might be a good idea to tell the owner it was them – how else could the door have a monster dent in it after a day of sitting in a parking lot next to a bunch of people with ladders?

-the time i look down when i hear a loud crash and see that one of them has dropped a huge wooden shutter from the top of the ladder onto the central a/c unit beside the house. again i saw them try to cover their tracks real fast as if it never happened, cleaning up the broken shutter and hiding it behind the shed to fix later. then they smoked a joint over it and must have decided to tell because the next day i saw a repair truck pull in the drive to look over the central a/c unit.

-the many, many times the boss would show up while they were behind the shed smoking a joint. he would walk around the house, looking up at four empty ladders and start cursing and walking real fast towards the shed. then he’d get all pissed and start yelling and telling them they were slow as shit. for real, he would yell and they would say sorry and shit while heading back to the ladders. things never changed. the next day they’d be out there behind the shed with nobody on watch for the boss, smoking away, waiting to get yelled at.

and the thing about behind the shed is that they could go there and be hidden from everyone, everyone except me of course, because i’ve got my birds eye vantage point spy window. it was always fun to watch them behind the shed smoking and laughing and having a good time, relaxing and enjoying the only decent part of the job.

the work began on june 2nd and today is the 10th of august. i shit you not they are still working on this house. they are the slowest workers i have ever seen in my life and it must be costing the boss like a million dollars to pay these idiots for all these hours. i’m not sure how the boss has not fired these people and hired new painters, no way he is making money on this house. the more days they work the slower they become, if this is even possible, given they started at the slowest pace ever. the more days they work the more work they create - like the time they painted the trim on the back side the same color as the house. this annoyed the boss to no end, caused a major shouting ordeal, and added a good week to the whole job.

but i’m not all that concerned with how long it will take them. they can take all summer and fall for all i care, at least i’ll have something interesting to watch and laugh at for a couple more months.

i’ll give you half, of everything i own

currently listening to: dave matthews, dodo. i know, sad. but good.

currently reading: the pugilist at rest, and because i’m sappy fucker - suzanne’s diary for nicholas.

currently happy about: that today is my friday.

currently fucking: that lunchtime girl i wrote about awhile ago.

currently depressed about: the red sox.

currently thinking: when i’ll be able to afford an ipod.

currently smoking: the roommates imported camel lights.

currently working on: one kick-ass short story.

currently eating: nothing.

currently drinking: starfucks iced americano, tall.

currently flossing with: oral b – satin floss.

currently thinking of buying: something really cool and interesting. like groceries.

currently wishing: i didn’t have tomorrows paycheck spent already.

so you want to invest in google

so don’t we all. or do we?

since i’m a freelance angel investor i figured i could give some quality advice to the people not in the know.

no but honestly, i’m not an expert by any means, though feel i can get a pretty good idea about a company and where they might be headed after doing some research - so here is what i do know: i’ve never ever ever been so completely unsure and so completely confused about the future of a company than i am with google right now.

while most companies will come out blasting warnings about earnings due to such and such in the future and potential long term effects of bla bla, never have i seen anything like this:

(selected pieces from prospectus & not in any specific order)

Google is not a conventional company.

If opportunities arise that might cause us to sacrifice short term results but are in the best long term interest of our shareholders, we will take those opportunities. We will have the fortitude to do this. We would request that our shareholders take the long term view.

Many companies are under pressure to keep their earnings in line with analysts’ forecasts. Therefore, they often accept smaller, predictable earnings rather than larger and less predictable returns. Sergey and I feel this is harmful, and we intend to steer in the opposite direction.

Our business environment changes rapidly and needs long term investment. We will not hesitate to place major bets on promising new opportunities.

We will not shy away from high-risk, high-reward projects because of short term earnings pressure. Some of our past bets have gone extraordinarily well, and others have not. Because we recognize the pursuit of such projects as the key to our long term success, we will continue to seek them out. For example, we would fund projects that have a 10% chance of earning a billion dollars over the long term. Do not be surprised if we place smaller bets in areas that seem very speculative or even strange when compared to our current businesses. Although we cannot quantify the specific level of risk we will undertake, as the ratio of reward to risk increases, we will accept projects further outside our current businesses, especially when the initial investment is small relative to the level of investment in our current businesses.

In the transition to public ownership, we have set up a corporate structure that will make it harder for outside parties to take over or influence Google. This structure will also make it easier for our management team to follow the long term, innovative approach emphasized earlier. This structure, called a dual class voting structure, is described elsewhere in this prospectus. The Class A common stock we are offering has one vote per share, while the Class B common stock held by many current shareholders has 10 votes per share. New investors will fully share in Google’s long term economic future but will have little ability to influence its strategic decisions through their voting rights.

use of proceeds:
We currently have no specific plans for the use of the net proceeds of this offering. We anticipate that we will use the net proceeds received by us from this offering for general corporate purposes, including working capital. In addition, we may use a portion of the proceeds of this offering for acquisitions of complementary businesses, technologies or other assets. We have no current agreements or commitments with respect to any material acquisitions. Pending such uses, we plan to invest the net proceeds in highly liquid, investment grade securities.

risk factors, a few of the many included in their report:
We face significant competition from Microsoft and Yahoo.

We expect our growth rates to decline and anticipate downward pressure on our operating margin in the future.

Our operating results may fluctuate, which makes our results difficult to predict and could cause our results to fall short of expectations.

We generate our revenue almost entirely from advertising, and the reduction in spending by or loss of advertisers could seriously harm our business. – (About 98%)

and if you didn’t know the following already you may find this interesting:
We encourage our employees, in addition to their regular projects, to spend 20% of their time working on what they think will most benefit Google. This empowers them to be more creative and innovative. Many of our significant advances have happened in this manner. For example, AdSense for content and Google News were both prototyped in “20% time.” Most risky projects fizzle, often teaching us something. Others succeed and become attractive businesses.

financially speaking:
generally a good thing when revenue increases 86 fold, then 5 fold, 5 fold, 5 fold, and most likely 3 fold at the end of fy’04.

generally a good thing when net income goes from (in thousands): ($14,690) to $300,000+ in just 4 years.

but if you broke this down by quarter then you could almost cry because the numbers fluctuate so much, which will speak trouble in years to come because investors live and die by the release of quarterly results.

cost of revenues is floating around 40-48% of total revenues. for normal companies this would be great, the product has a high mark-up. for an abnormal company like google this is bad, what exactly is their cost of this revenue? remember, the only thing they make money on is ads. understandably, part of the cost would be expenses associated with operating their data centers (which might include depreciation, energy and some bandwidth costs), and the costs associated with processing customer transactions for the ads. but these costs are insignificant compared to what the real costs of revenue are - the real costs associated with revenue are the traffic acquisition costs, or, payments made to their google network members. while i can’t get a good enough answer from google about what these costs actually are, i am incredibly curious, because at the end of fy’04 this may cost them as much as a billion dollars, and i feel like a fool not knowing what the christ these are!

net income:
insane fluctuation, once again. 8% of total revenues, up to 22%, down to 7% and now at about 10% over the past 4 years. what would cause this? the inability to manage growth, or, inability to manage the costs and expenses related to doing business. r&d, sales and marketing, general and administrative costs, interest income or loss, these all will fluctuate rapidly as a company grows, and being able to manage them while on the way up is a hard thing to do. steady and predictable growth leads to predictable net income. google does not or will not have steady growth and as a result they will have an incredibly hard time managing costs and expenses associated with their business constantly doing well then poorly then well and so on.

generally speaking:
i like how honest and straightforward google is about where they think the company will be going. they don’t have the faintest idea. they don’t have a clue what will become of them 3-5 years from now. they don’t have a clue as to how they’ll spend the billions from this ipo. they don’t have a clue as to how exactly microsoft and yahoo! will effect their business in the near future. they don’t care about managing growth and smoothing out quarterly results and end of year numbers. they don’t want the public to come anywhere near close enough to actually own a significant share of the company. they sell one product and one product only and have no plans whatsoever of changing this anytime soon (at least they didn’t disclose any information about this, which probably would have been an excellent idea). none of these things are typical, or even close to typical for your normal public company or normal company going public. not even close. very close to what every other internet stock was.

is there anything more interesting than researching a company like this? no. no. simply no.

we have a company that the majority of people will be scarred and terrified of investing in.

or do we?

we have a company that people will grab a hold of and ride for a few years, believing that good things will come in time, that the high-risk/high-reward promise will pay off.

i don’t know, i simply don’t have a clue. i think that after the ipo this stock could see some of the most drastic swings we’ve ever seen in a stock before – history would tell us that its in for some wild times, especially the first year or two. the problem, or maybe the good thing is that this company will have money. they’ll be profitable this year, maybe next year, and they’ll have plenty of cash on hand to invest in whatever they want to after the ipo. we’re not talking about a company that’s been around for 4 years and is looking for an ipo to get out of debt, much the case with every other internet stock ipo.

i do know that i’m completely excited about this company, and excited to watch what it does. i’m excited for the release, i’m excited to see what they do with the money, and i’m excited to see their numbers at the end of the year.

we have 3 months till the release, 3 weeks, 3 days, who knows?!

purple dogs and fucking money, man

its me on a bench eating my lunch somewhere.

its maybe monday at like 1pm and its stinking hot out.

but i found a bench in the shade and the ice coffee tastes sooooo good.

its me taking a deep breath as some wack-job comes my way looking for conversation. i guess i’m ready for it though, its monday, its hot, i’m tired, i could use a good laugh:

wack-job: “did you hear that news report?! they just stole the presidents penis! can you believe it?!”

me: “well, no, i didn’t see that, but i don’t think that makes any sense.”

wack-job: “i know it doesn’t make any sense, but its true, i just saw it on the news!”

me: “how did they steal the presidents penis?”

wack-job: “you know the world troub-b-b-ble right now?”

me: “yeah, the world is overpopulated, that’s the trouble.”

wack-job: “no! no! no! the troub-b-b-ble with the world is fucking money, man”

me: “wait, what did you mean about the presidents penis?”

wack-job: “my fucking dog is fucking dying man, he’s all purple and can’t bark no more.”

me: “where is your dog?”

wack-job: (always staying on subject) “that’s because the government rules us......man........you fucking watch man, grow some eyes in the back of your head man, that’s what you need, that’s what i did.”

me: “i already did that, i got eyes in the back.......”

wack-job: (turning and walking away) “take for instance the last movie you watched man........they........always........”

and he’s gone.

now i don’t know what to feel. was i not interesting enough to stay and talk to? did he have someplace else he needed to be? did he hear a thing i said? did he know what he was saying? did he care what he was saying? was anything he said true?

ah, maybe it doesn’t matter, i’ll take it for what it was, an interesting experience.

a lineup w/o #5

its like how people say you always remember where you were when such and such happened. i remember where i was when we traded nomah garcia parah, though i guess it was only a couple days ago.

i don’t know what i think of this nomar trade. i guess i’m happy. i guess i feel good for him. i guess i knew it was coming. but i know we’ll miss him.

what i do know is that we had one hell of a shortstop for 8 years. how many times did we watch him go deep in the hole and come up throwing for an impossible out at first?

for 8 years we had one of the best batters in the league, some say the best. how many 30 game hit streaks or close to it did he have? something like a .330 lifetime average? .360 & .370 just a few years ago? .360 for the month of july this year?!

but i know about the problems in the clubhouse this year. i know that he was not happy. the guy hasn’t smiled in months. his teammates say he just hasn’t been himself lately. he had to think his days in boston were coming to an end. we all knew there was still bitterness from the pre-season trade talks. after keeping him in the dark, going behind his back trying to sign a-rod to fill his place, then telling him we love him and want him to stay? management knew it was time for him to go. his team knew it was time for him to go. his fans knew it was time for him to go. and he definitely knew it was time to leave.

but doesn’t this always happen to us, especially recently? roger clemens, mo vaughn, wade boggs, tony clark? why do they all leave frustrated? why do we feel the need to raise these incredible players, then just trade them away for nothing? and why do they always end up with the yankees? don’t even think for a second nomar won’t be with the yankees next year. i mean the yankees didn’t need a shortstop last year yet they picked up a-rod, an all-star shortstop and put him at third base. they won’t need a shortstop next year, but they’ll pick up nomar and put him in right field or some bullshit, just to make us cry.

and what about his injuries? obviously he’s not back to 100% just yet. obviously we need someone who is 100% right now as we gear up for the playoffs. obviously we could get a better price for him while he’s playing rather than injured or during the off-season.

but i’m happy for the cubbies, i really am. he went to a good team and a good city. he looks like he’s happy and i’m glad to see him smiling again. they’ll root for him, give him a million standing ovations as he makes impossible plays and finishes this year batting like .400 with 0 errors. they’ll laugh and finally get used to his body movements before he steps to the plate. they'll tell that catcher of theirs to give his number up to the new star of the team. they'll probably call him by his real name for the first time in 8 years. they’ll take care of him, maybe even win the world series against us this year. then they’ll give the yanks a call in january and get about a billion dollars for him just because that's what always happens, also because the yankees suck, more like especially because the yankees suck.

but make nomah doubt about it, he’ll surely be missed.