recently been cracking me

i really don't have anything to post. i probably just wanted to post so i could look at this anderson pic a little longer. is she ready for her 10th playboy cover? probably, the girl doesn't age. will she sell 80 billion 2005 calendars with this picture on the cover? probably.

posts that have made me laugh out loud all by my lonesome here at work:

paige
morning sex is a relationship privilage, and/or is reserved for only the well-seasoned fuck buddy.

chicken
To be honest, if I had the choice to either have sex with a dude, or engage myself in a heated political debate, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be ashamed of the rug burns on my knees the next morning.

Jane
Long story short, guess who’s asleep in my bed right now as I blog? Frank Junior. He was actually the LAST guy I thought I’d hear from considering the fact that I fucked his father.

zulieka
While I was taking photos of Dr. W staring out blankly next to my grinning mother, Ernie grabbed my digital camera and flipped through the saved photos. A few of them happened to be nude self-portraits. And just like in the old days, he yelled accusingly, "Mom, take a look at these! Zulieka took pictures of herself NAKED!" Fortunately, there were no spread-eagle shots.

only the truth
My sister writes to me from the other hemisphere. She's younger and she's stranger and she could kick my ass and as a reward she is in south Africa rubbing elbows with Nelson Mandella's grandson and getting to be the one with the hot foreign accent

the man
today is my lawyer kim's 22nd birthday. hottest, bestest entertainment lawyer on the hemisphere. i might be ten thousand years old when my ship comes in, but when i do she will get her fifteen percent.