round 2 out west this summer
on thursday august 12th i flew out of logan airport for my second trip out west this summer, this time for a week and a half.
i made it to the airport 25 minutes before my departure on the 12th (the T was blowing my ass. or, more like i wish because it was so stinking hot) only to wait an extra hour and a half because the plane needed to be washed or some shit. this put me in a bind for my layover in chicago, which was suppose to only be an hour. i got off the plane in full sprint at chicago at 9:30, desperately trying to make a plane that was most likely already in the air. fortunately they were still awaiting a co-pilot, whom i walked onboard with – one minute later would have been too late. with my mind finally at ease i was able to focus on my reading for the second leg of the flight out.
arriving in phoenix i met up with ardie (host of the trip and high school friend), oz (wizard of the trip and high school friend ), and roanes (a lifelong friend of oz whom i had somehow never met or even heard of). the surprise arrival had already happened for ardie because he hadn’t a clue that oz and roanes were showing up for the trip. having not seen ardie in over 3 years we had an hour and a half trip back to where he lives in prescott, az to catch up. a quick stop at his bar (to be described later), a quick game of play-blackjack at his house and it was time for some shuteye, being ass-early in the morning already.
we were up way too early the next morning for quick trip down to the bar with ardie to do a little work and pick up some breakfast supplies. after eating and meeting his partner in business/housemate/friend/ polo, we (ardie, polo, oz, roanes and raz) decided to go take a hike.......in a car. bowling was next on the to-do list and i think polo forgot to tell us he was a pro bowler at one point because his score was more than the rest of ours combined. next up was shopping for dinner. we left the oz in the produce department with strict instructions to take no more than 300 photos of everything while the rest of us shopped for the essentials to make a taco dinner. having filled ourselves on tacos we got dressed, or, in my case threw on the (new!)grey fleece, and headed to the bar. fortunately for us guests ardie and polo happen to own the coolest bar in all of arizona – matt’s longhorn saloon. situated on whiskey row in downtown prescott matt’s longhorn saloon has been around for about a hundred years. ardie and polo bought it 3 years ago and have since turned it into the most well-known country bar in prescott, if not arizona. the size of the bar is nothing like what we’re used to here in boston and cambridge, being that it can hold well over 300 people plus a band. i don’t know how ardie and polo were able to do such a good job in taking over the bar; making it such huge success so incredibly fast, but the outcome is phenomenal. i was quite impressed as i watched them handle problems while hanging out with us that night. hosting a live band, serving a constant 200+ customers all night, and managing 15 or so employees can’t be easy. anyway, the drinking began immediately and never let-up all night. bottles of corona and numerous shots were passed around all night while we jammed and danced to the live music (um, no. all the alcohol in the world couldn’t get me to dance). many hours later we found our way home and into the hot-tub for the longest soak of my life. i don’t know if it was the drinks or the soak, but i was a more than a little dizzy when i got out. i’m still not sure how we all didn’t drown ourselves that night.
the next day i still couldn’t sleep late and we lazed around before heading off to a trip to jerome/sedona. next time i’m there i’ll def spend some more time in jerome checking out how its possible to build a town on the side of a cliff. some quick pictures around sedona were taken (must have forgotten my camera) and we were off to slide-rock. slide-rock park is one of the coolest parks i’ve been to. set inside a canyon is a river that was found to be an excellent “natural water slide.” the river has formed the perfect water slide that flows over smooth and slick rock for a couple hundred yards. hundreds of people had the same idea as we did that day, probably because the weather was a perfect 100 degree’s. dipping into the 50 degree water almost turned me away, but fortunately i got used to it and gave it a try. we settled in for a quick nap in the sun while watching the oz take some jumps off the cliff into the river. racing home we quickly changed for our next adventure of the day, the prescott rough stock rodeo. i had never been to anything like it before and was quite amazed the entire time. watching men and women ride horses and bulls bareback was incredibly thrilling and scary at the same time. ardie and polo got us some “back stage passes” that allowed us to stand on top of the gates and watch everyone sit on the bulls before they let them out of the gate. this got us really close to the action as we watched people get tossed off no more than 10 feet in front of us. oh and by the way, a note here for those who are planning on going to a rodeo soon – it would be probably be a good idea to change out of your cargo shorts, t-shirt and definitely those birkenstock sandals. proper wear includes cowboy boots, tight jeans, denim shirt and cowboy hat. accessories include chewing tobacco, a bud light, dirt, and a really big truck. i definitely had a good time, and enjoyed looking at the cowboys (and cowgirls!) almost as much as the rodeo itself. the after party for the rodeo was of course held at matt’s longhorn saloon, which was where we were headed ourselves. 300 people filled the bar when we got back and i had an incredibly hard time avoiding all the cowboy boots with my sandals. with a smile one guy said to me “best watch your step with those things on son.” i think we (us visitors) were the only ones in the bar without proper cowboy (or cowgirls) attire. serious drinking occurred again and we (everyone but i) enjoyed dancing to the live band once again. somewhere along the line we lost track of the oz, and later found out that she had cornered a few cowboys and.........well, maybe that doesn’t belong in the blog. i never thought i’d enjoy listening to country music (or going to a country bar for that matter), but i really had a great time and actually enjoyed most of the music while there.
the next day we woke up late and made some strawberry shortcake for breakfast before packing up the car for a trip to phoenix. we picked up a friend (pink) and headed to the airport/mexico. we had to say goodbye to oz and roanes, as we couldn’t convince them to skip work and head down to mexico with us. after doing some MAJOR grocery shopping for the three days we’d be down there (equivalent of what i might eat in two months) the four of us (ardie, polo, pink and i) jumped back into the car and sped down to the boarder so that we could make the 12pm closing time. a dust storm was threatening to hold us back a bit, but we still made the boarder with plenty of time to spare. BUT FIRST!!!! oh my god! a dream come true! a trip to the in-n-out burger right outside of phoenix! wow, i barely thought they were even real, having only heard about them in my favorite movie ever – the big lebowski. i almost couldn’t believe what i was seeing when we drove past the sign and i immediately demanded that we pull over and eat (it was close to being passed up for taco bell, which would have put me in tears). i’ll save the details for a letter to them or a separate blog entry about them. we crossed the boarder and it took us an hour to get to the condo that ardie and polo own in rocky point, mexico. it was over 100 degrees at 1am when we arrived, and proceeded to pass-out having unloaded.
the next day included lots of beach action, as the condo overlooks the water/beach. swimming in the water was like taking a nice warm bath, so we spent most of the afternoon floating in the waves. we ended up spending a fair amount of the day in the water and relaxing on the beach. there were quite a few local vendors selling food and souvenirs on the beach, and they had no problem walking right up to us and dropping jewelry or food right on our towels for us to look at. pink couldn’t resist having her hair braided and spend a good hour having someone put braids in her hair, with pink beads of course. the remainder of the afternoon was spent at the pool before he headed inside (with air-conditioning!) to make dinner and get ready to go out for the night. pork chops on the grill with rice, corn and rolls were made before we headed back to the beach at nightfall. ardie had purchased half the fireworks in mexico earlier in the day and was planning on giving us a show to remember. for the next half-hour we sat on the beach and watched ardie set-off some incredible fireworks, all while trying not to set himself off. next up was a night on the town. we visited 3 different local bars and proceeded to drink lots of tequilla and dos equis before settling into a place that had a shuffleboard. after the first game i was hooked. shuffleboard doesn’t look to be thrilling but it definitely proved me wrong. obviously, like any other ultra-slow-mode sport i’ve played, i became an expert after the first couple shots and ardie and i went on to dominate. last stop of the night was at a taco stand that we convinced ourselves must be ok to eat at. there were hundreds of them around, all open, but most looked incredibly scary at best. once back in the air conditioned condo it was not hard to pass-out immediately.
the next day would be my last full day in mexico and arizona before i headed to seattle for part two of the trip. the beginning of the day was spent much like the previous, with lots of ocean swimming, beach napping, sand castle building, pool swimming, and banana boat riding. dinner was made in the condo again in rapid-fire mode as we raced to finish in time so we could do some more fireworks before the beach “curfew.”ardie put on another excellent show, and had the entire beach screaming for more during the finale. as we prepared to get ready for another night out i tried to get some more opinions about what i should do about part two of my trip. tomorrow i was planning on flying up to see a friend in seattle but i had been told by this friend that she was sick and it was turning out to be a really bad time to visit her (this is the short version). ardie and polo and pink were telling me that it would be great if i could stay and they would love it and wouldn’t mind and such. so it sounded like it would be a better idea to stay with them rather than head to seattle. another very long story short is that ardie was finally able to bribe someone with a phone so i could make a call to the airline to change my ticket (for some reason 800 numbers cannot be dialed from payphones/calling cards in mexico). after this was done my mind was settled and we headed to the bars for some much needed beer. we went with just two bars tonight, making sure to leave even more time at the last bar for extended shuffleboard playing. ardie and i started out ok at the shuffleboard, but some professional players showed up an hour later and proceed to put us in our place. maybe it was the boobs that i couldn’t keep my eyes off of, but i’m thinking they were professionals. we finished the night at the same taco stand, all of us ordering much more than the previous night, knowing they could be trusted a little more having not gotten sick from the last night.
wednesday, a day of traveling. we woke up late and spent some time in the pool deciding what to do. we knew we had to leave today to get back to prescott, but we were trying to figure out if it would be a good idea to go to las vegas. as soon as we convinced ourselves it would be a good idea we packed the car and got on the road, at 4pm. after a few stops for food and gas and the airport to pick up a car we made it to the bar at 10:30pm. we flew into the bar like screaming eagles and did some serious work for about an hour and a half before jumping back into the car and heading to the house to re-pack. by 1am we were back on the road, headed for vegas. now, vegas is about a 4 hour drive from prescott. we were no more than an hour on the road before ardie points ahead of us and tells me that we can see the lights of vegas in the distance. to me this was fascinating, to be 3 hours and a million miles away from vegas, yet look out in the distance at 2am in the morning and think the sun must be rising behind the mountains ahead. i may have been struggling to stay awake and keep our driver awake the whole time, but once we passed the hover dam and headed downtown i was all wide-eye and smiling. 5am in the morning and this town was awake as ever, of course. by 5:30am we had checked into the mgm grand and collapsed on our beds.
first stop for me at 10am the next morning was starbucks. i had the past 5 days to feed my craving for an ice coffee and boy was i happy (and very surprised) to see one right in the casino. now, starbucks coffee is generally fairly expensive, as in its some of the most expensive coffee you can find. but starbucks coffee located inside a casino is more than double the prices you’ll find at any other location. only because it had been ages since my last i decided to make the purchase, $4.78 for my regular $1.87 tall iced americano. next stop was the lion exhibit, as i had to make sure my eyes weren’t playing games with me. sure enough there were 3 lions and a couple trainers jumping around in a huge lion playground and talking to the crowd. after going back to the room to see if anyone was awake i found ardie, polo and pink ready to hit the streets to search for some good gambling locations. we decided to try out the new monorail system and take it wherever it went just to see how cool it was. overall impression is that it doesn’t go very far (yet) and its quite expensive - $3 a ride, $10 24hrs. last stop was the sahara so we got off and headed inside to do some gambling. i was able to watch the 3 of them play blackjack for about 5 minutes before i decided i needed to find a poker table. ten minutes later i was sitting down at my usual low-limit hold’em table, only this time in vegas. i’ll eliminate the boring part of the next 2 hours of play and just continue. next stop was a quick taxi ride away, circus circus. actually the same could be said about the next 10 places we went, just replace circus circus with the name of every other casino in vegas. towards nighttime we headed down to freemont street where i immediately located binions horseshoe casino and walked right in. possibly the most important casino for me to visit, i was some excited to finally see it in person. i was finally able to sit down and play poker in the most famous poker room in all the world. i spent about the next 2 hours between the poker table and the light show right outside the casino. next were the shows at treasure island and the bellagio. i was least impressed with the treasure island volcano show, but then again we didn’t have the best viewing position. the bellagio though, that’s another story. they have the famous water shows every 15 minutes at night and we arrived at 11:10. we caught the 11:15 just in time, but that only made us want to stay and watch the 11:30 even more. the 11:30 show was so good that we decided we had to stay for the 11:45. hundreds, maybe thousands of people were there in front of the casino watching the water show, it was absolutely awesome and i probably would have been there all day if we had done the show earlier. after some walking around the bellagio and taking in the sights (its like a museum) we jumped back into a cab and went back to the mgm for some dinner. the cab driver was anxious to take us to a strip club and was really feeding us some tempting options on the ride back though. so sure enough..............it was bedtime.
the next day i was up too early so i decided to have starbucks rape me again before heading across the street to ny, ny. since i’ll never find myself in the actual city of ny, i figured i might as well visit something like it. after that was the tropicana before i headed to the room to check on the sleeping status of the rest of the gang. by 1pm we were checked out of the hotel and eating somewhere inside ny, ny when someone had the grand idea of going on the roller coaster ride. hmm, not generally a fan of roller coaster i convinced myself that it might be safe and perhaps even fun. fun yes. safe i don’t know. i think my head got snapped in way too many directions and my throat didn’t appreciate all the screaming, but we all made it to the end in one piece. after some more gambling and poker action at the mirage and monte carlo we decided to hit the wax museum. having never been to one before i found it to be quite interesting, though was disappointed to see the worse piece be mick jagger. even more cool was that it was free because polo decided to pay for it with his winning from getting a royal flush on video poker. actually, it should be said that quite a few things were compliments of ardie and polo (whom i can’t thank enough) which made being in vegas much cooler and more affordable than would be if i was on my own. after the museum and some more gambling it was time to hit the road, with a stop at the bar before calling it a night back in prescott.
saturday morning i slept in much more than i ever had on the trip and woke up to watch a few dukes of hazard episodes by myself before ardie showed up and brought me down to the bar to meet a few people. he had four friends – danny boy, vice, boobs and patty that were serious drinkers and were nice enough to buy me a few beers, some shots and a couple tamales. i had a blast talking to them and staring at the boobs, and they had a blast trying to get me to loosen up a bit. they convinced me that i need to head back out there next summer for a party at the bar already being planned over the 4th of july........sounded like a time not to miss. after a little investigative work that i should probably keep on the dl, ardie and i stopped by polo’s parents house for a bite to eat during a family reunion. having convinced a few of his family members to join us at the bar we drove down to matt’s longhorn saloon for yet another night of fun times drinking and dancing and listening to good music. i definitely drank too much that night but had a great time and was sad knowing it would be my last night at the bar.
the next day i woke up and watched a movie before packing up and getting ready for my trip back home, my LONG trip back home. we left the house at 3pm, just barely making it to the airport on time for my flight at 6:20. back at home i had remembered to leave my pocket knife/money clip in my bag, thinking i would be checking it and not taking it on board with me. but then i realized that i wouldn’t have time to get it from baggage claim in seattle before my next flight out so i brought it with me on the plane, or, i tried to. all hell broke loose as it went through the x-ray and i was grabbed and immediately brought to an interrogation room. it was at this point that i remembered what it probably was and felt a little bit relieved. long story short is that they took away my money clip that i have had for about 5 years now, so i was a bit annoyed. with about 10 minutes till my plane was to leave they let me go and i got on the plane starving and kind of pissed off. 3 hours later i was in seattle (taking my original flight back home from seattle, which was my cheapest option during the changing of plans) ready to grab something to eat, but as i was getting out of the gate from the plane i heard the announcement for my flight to boston (suppose to be an hour and a half delay) already being called out – “please board immediately for flight 6844 to boston as your seat will be sold if you are not on board.” now i’m really annoyed because its 9:45pm, the plane doesn’t leave until 11pm, and i have yet to eat more than a bowl of golden grams all day. i boarded the plane immediately though and waited until the plane was full (10:30pm) for our early departure, still unsure why we had to leave early, and never getting any kind of communication about the early departure. i arrived in boston at 7am having slept maybe an hour because my stomach was begging for food. i left the airport weak and tired having devoured two fucking donuts egg bagels. the ice coffee kept me awake enough to find my way home, but the work day was pretty much hell, even after 3 ice coffee’s.
most amazed by: matt’s longhorn saloon, the bellagio water show, how many incredibly nice people/family members ardie and polo have, how i was the only person in all of az with a beard (and got a lot of odd stares), and that pretty little cowgirl i met at the bar.
least impressed by: the heat in mexico
thankful for: knowing someone like ardie and polo who were gracious enough to let me come stay/visit
i took quite a few photos with my imaginary digital camera, and uploaded them to my imaginary ibook computer, which is probably why i haven’t posted any pictures from the trip yet.
miles driven: 1820
hours driven: 38.5
miles flown: 5,956
hours flown: 14 1/2
corona: 21
dos equis: 7
some other kind of mexican beer : 4
tequilla shots: 10
washington apples: 3
jagermeister shots: 6 (6 too many)
lemon drops: 1
questionable/unknown shots: 3
best quotes from trip:
“you know what’s missing from this bar? all the guys that live in vail.”
my response – “you think? what about all these cowboys though?”
“nothing here i’d like to ride.”
“can i get a show of hands for all the double d’s in the house!?”
“i’ll tell ya.......the odds are looking pretty good at this table.”
“i think his penis is the best i’ve ever seen, 6 inches and quite a bit of girth, just what i like.”
“raz did you think these tits are real? my god i’m 44 years old! do you think they’d still look this good at my age!?”
so there it is, one kick-ass trip. i had an awesome time and can’t thank polo and ardie enough for hosting me and showing me such a good time. i’m more than impressed with what they’ve done with their bar, their house and their condo in mexico. they were able to put up with me for longer than originally anticipated, and i thank them again and again for being able to do so. to all those that i met out there – polo (and family), pink, roanes, everyone at the bar, danny boy, boobs, vice, patty and everyone else i’m forgetting, thank you for showing me how great az is and for being so incredibly friendly!
i made it to the airport 25 minutes before my departure on the 12th (the T was blowing my ass. or, more like i wish because it was so stinking hot) only to wait an extra hour and a half because the plane needed to be washed or some shit. this put me in a bind for my layover in chicago, which was suppose to only be an hour. i got off the plane in full sprint at chicago at 9:30, desperately trying to make a plane that was most likely already in the air. fortunately they were still awaiting a co-pilot, whom i walked onboard with – one minute later would have been too late. with my mind finally at ease i was able to focus on my reading for the second leg of the flight out.
arriving in phoenix i met up with ardie (host of the trip and high school friend), oz (wizard of the trip and high school friend ), and roanes (a lifelong friend of oz whom i had somehow never met or even heard of). the surprise arrival had already happened for ardie because he hadn’t a clue that oz and roanes were showing up for the trip. having not seen ardie in over 3 years we had an hour and a half trip back to where he lives in prescott, az to catch up. a quick stop at his bar (to be described later), a quick game of play-blackjack at his house and it was time for some shuteye, being ass-early in the morning already.
we were up way too early the next morning for quick trip down to the bar with ardie to do a little work and pick up some breakfast supplies. after eating and meeting his partner in business/housemate/friend/ polo, we (ardie, polo, oz, roanes and raz) decided to go take a hike.......in a car. bowling was next on the to-do list and i think polo forgot to tell us he was a pro bowler at one point because his score was more than the rest of ours combined. next up was shopping for dinner. we left the oz in the produce department with strict instructions to take no more than 300 photos of everything while the rest of us shopped for the essentials to make a taco dinner. having filled ourselves on tacos we got dressed, or, in my case threw on the (new!)grey fleece, and headed to the bar. fortunately for us guests ardie and polo happen to own the coolest bar in all of arizona – matt’s longhorn saloon. situated on whiskey row in downtown prescott matt’s longhorn saloon has been around for about a hundred years. ardie and polo bought it 3 years ago and have since turned it into the most well-known country bar in prescott, if not arizona. the size of the bar is nothing like what we’re used to here in boston and cambridge, being that it can hold well over 300 people plus a band. i don’t know how ardie and polo were able to do such a good job in taking over the bar; making it such huge success so incredibly fast, but the outcome is phenomenal. i was quite impressed as i watched them handle problems while hanging out with us that night. hosting a live band, serving a constant 200+ customers all night, and managing 15 or so employees can’t be easy. anyway, the drinking began immediately and never let-up all night. bottles of corona and numerous shots were passed around all night while we jammed and danced to the live music (um, no. all the alcohol in the world couldn’t get me to dance). many hours later we found our way home and into the hot-tub for the longest soak of my life. i don’t know if it was the drinks or the soak, but i was a more than a little dizzy when i got out. i’m still not sure how we all didn’t drown ourselves that night.
the next day i still couldn’t sleep late and we lazed around before heading off to a trip to jerome/sedona. next time i’m there i’ll def spend some more time in jerome checking out how its possible to build a town on the side of a cliff. some quick pictures around sedona were taken (must have forgotten my camera) and we were off to slide-rock. slide-rock park is one of the coolest parks i’ve been to. set inside a canyon is a river that was found to be an excellent “natural water slide.” the river has formed the perfect water slide that flows over smooth and slick rock for a couple hundred yards. hundreds of people had the same idea as we did that day, probably because the weather was a perfect 100 degree’s. dipping into the 50 degree water almost turned me away, but fortunately i got used to it and gave it a try. we settled in for a quick nap in the sun while watching the oz take some jumps off the cliff into the river. racing home we quickly changed for our next adventure of the day, the prescott rough stock rodeo. i had never been to anything like it before and was quite amazed the entire time. watching men and women ride horses and bulls bareback was incredibly thrilling and scary at the same time. ardie and polo got us some “back stage passes” that allowed us to stand on top of the gates and watch everyone sit on the bulls before they let them out of the gate. this got us really close to the action as we watched people get tossed off no more than 10 feet in front of us. oh and by the way, a note here for those who are planning on going to a rodeo soon – it would be probably be a good idea to change out of your cargo shorts, t-shirt and definitely those birkenstock sandals. proper wear includes cowboy boots, tight jeans, denim shirt and cowboy hat. accessories include chewing tobacco, a bud light, dirt, and a really big truck. i definitely had a good time, and enjoyed looking at the cowboys (and cowgirls!) almost as much as the rodeo itself. the after party for the rodeo was of course held at matt’s longhorn saloon, which was where we were headed ourselves. 300 people filled the bar when we got back and i had an incredibly hard time avoiding all the cowboy boots with my sandals. with a smile one guy said to me “best watch your step with those things on son.” i think we (us visitors) were the only ones in the bar without proper cowboy (or cowgirls) attire. serious drinking occurred again and we (everyone but i) enjoyed dancing to the live band once again. somewhere along the line we lost track of the oz, and later found out that she had cornered a few cowboys and.........well, maybe that doesn’t belong in the blog. i never thought i’d enjoy listening to country music (or going to a country bar for that matter), but i really had a great time and actually enjoyed most of the music while there.
the next day we woke up late and made some strawberry shortcake for breakfast before packing up the car for a trip to phoenix. we picked up a friend (pink) and headed to the airport/mexico. we had to say goodbye to oz and roanes, as we couldn’t convince them to skip work and head down to mexico with us. after doing some MAJOR grocery shopping for the three days we’d be down there (equivalent of what i might eat in two months) the four of us (ardie, polo, pink and i) jumped back into the car and sped down to the boarder so that we could make the 12pm closing time. a dust storm was threatening to hold us back a bit, but we still made the boarder with plenty of time to spare. BUT FIRST!!!! oh my god! a dream come true! a trip to the in-n-out burger right outside of phoenix! wow, i barely thought they were even real, having only heard about them in my favorite movie ever – the big lebowski. i almost couldn’t believe what i was seeing when we drove past the sign and i immediately demanded that we pull over and eat (it was close to being passed up for taco bell, which would have put me in tears). i’ll save the details for a letter to them or a separate blog entry about them. we crossed the boarder and it took us an hour to get to the condo that ardie and polo own in rocky point, mexico. it was over 100 degrees at 1am when we arrived, and proceeded to pass-out having unloaded.
the next day included lots of beach action, as the condo overlooks the water/beach. swimming in the water was like taking a nice warm bath, so we spent most of the afternoon floating in the waves. we ended up spending a fair amount of the day in the water and relaxing on the beach. there were quite a few local vendors selling food and souvenirs on the beach, and they had no problem walking right up to us and dropping jewelry or food right on our towels for us to look at. pink couldn’t resist having her hair braided and spend a good hour having someone put braids in her hair, with pink beads of course. the remainder of the afternoon was spent at the pool before he headed inside (with air-conditioning!) to make dinner and get ready to go out for the night. pork chops on the grill with rice, corn and rolls were made before we headed back to the beach at nightfall. ardie had purchased half the fireworks in mexico earlier in the day and was planning on giving us a show to remember. for the next half-hour we sat on the beach and watched ardie set-off some incredible fireworks, all while trying not to set himself off. next up was a night on the town. we visited 3 different local bars and proceeded to drink lots of tequilla and dos equis before settling into a place that had a shuffleboard. after the first game i was hooked. shuffleboard doesn’t look to be thrilling but it definitely proved me wrong. obviously, like any other ultra-slow-mode sport i’ve played, i became an expert after the first couple shots and ardie and i went on to dominate. last stop of the night was at a taco stand that we convinced ourselves must be ok to eat at. there were hundreds of them around, all open, but most looked incredibly scary at best. once back in the air conditioned condo it was not hard to pass-out immediately.
the next day would be my last full day in mexico and arizona before i headed to seattle for part two of the trip. the beginning of the day was spent much like the previous, with lots of ocean swimming, beach napping, sand castle building, pool swimming, and banana boat riding. dinner was made in the condo again in rapid-fire mode as we raced to finish in time so we could do some more fireworks before the beach “curfew.”ardie put on another excellent show, and had the entire beach screaming for more during the finale. as we prepared to get ready for another night out i tried to get some more opinions about what i should do about part two of my trip. tomorrow i was planning on flying up to see a friend in seattle but i had been told by this friend that she was sick and it was turning out to be a really bad time to visit her (this is the short version). ardie and polo and pink were telling me that it would be great if i could stay and they would love it and wouldn’t mind and such. so it sounded like it would be a better idea to stay with them rather than head to seattle. another very long story short is that ardie was finally able to bribe someone with a phone so i could make a call to the airline to change my ticket (for some reason 800 numbers cannot be dialed from payphones/calling cards in mexico). after this was done my mind was settled and we headed to the bars for some much needed beer. we went with just two bars tonight, making sure to leave even more time at the last bar for extended shuffleboard playing. ardie and i started out ok at the shuffleboard, but some professional players showed up an hour later and proceed to put us in our place. maybe it was the boobs that i couldn’t keep my eyes off of, but i’m thinking they were professionals. we finished the night at the same taco stand, all of us ordering much more than the previous night, knowing they could be trusted a little more having not gotten sick from the last night.
wednesday, a day of traveling. we woke up late and spent some time in the pool deciding what to do. we knew we had to leave today to get back to prescott, but we were trying to figure out if it would be a good idea to go to las vegas. as soon as we convinced ourselves it would be a good idea we packed the car and got on the road, at 4pm. after a few stops for food and gas and the airport to pick up a car we made it to the bar at 10:30pm. we flew into the bar like screaming eagles and did some serious work for about an hour and a half before jumping back into the car and heading to the house to re-pack. by 1am we were back on the road, headed for vegas. now, vegas is about a 4 hour drive from prescott. we were no more than an hour on the road before ardie points ahead of us and tells me that we can see the lights of vegas in the distance. to me this was fascinating, to be 3 hours and a million miles away from vegas, yet look out in the distance at 2am in the morning and think the sun must be rising behind the mountains ahead. i may have been struggling to stay awake and keep our driver awake the whole time, but once we passed the hover dam and headed downtown i was all wide-eye and smiling. 5am in the morning and this town was awake as ever, of course. by 5:30am we had checked into the mgm grand and collapsed on our beds.
first stop for me at 10am the next morning was starbucks. i had the past 5 days to feed my craving for an ice coffee and boy was i happy (and very surprised) to see one right in the casino. now, starbucks coffee is generally fairly expensive, as in its some of the most expensive coffee you can find. but starbucks coffee located inside a casino is more than double the prices you’ll find at any other location. only because it had been ages since my last i decided to make the purchase, $4.78 for my regular $1.87 tall iced americano. next stop was the lion exhibit, as i had to make sure my eyes weren’t playing games with me. sure enough there were 3 lions and a couple trainers jumping around in a huge lion playground and talking to the crowd. after going back to the room to see if anyone was awake i found ardie, polo and pink ready to hit the streets to search for some good gambling locations. we decided to try out the new monorail system and take it wherever it went just to see how cool it was. overall impression is that it doesn’t go very far (yet) and its quite expensive - $3 a ride, $10 24hrs. last stop was the sahara so we got off and headed inside to do some gambling. i was able to watch the 3 of them play blackjack for about 5 minutes before i decided i needed to find a poker table. ten minutes later i was sitting down at my usual low-limit hold’em table, only this time in vegas. i’ll eliminate the boring part of the next 2 hours of play and just continue. next stop was a quick taxi ride away, circus circus. actually the same could be said about the next 10 places we went, just replace circus circus with the name of every other casino in vegas. towards nighttime we headed down to freemont street where i immediately located binions horseshoe casino and walked right in. possibly the most important casino for me to visit, i was some excited to finally see it in person. i was finally able to sit down and play poker in the most famous poker room in all the world. i spent about the next 2 hours between the poker table and the light show right outside the casino. next were the shows at treasure island and the bellagio. i was least impressed with the treasure island volcano show, but then again we didn’t have the best viewing position. the bellagio though, that’s another story. they have the famous water shows every 15 minutes at night and we arrived at 11:10. we caught the 11:15 just in time, but that only made us want to stay and watch the 11:30 even more. the 11:30 show was so good that we decided we had to stay for the 11:45. hundreds, maybe thousands of people were there in front of the casino watching the water show, it was absolutely awesome and i probably would have been there all day if we had done the show earlier. after some walking around the bellagio and taking in the sights (its like a museum) we jumped back into a cab and went back to the mgm for some dinner. the cab driver was anxious to take us to a strip club and was really feeding us some tempting options on the ride back though. so sure enough..............it was bedtime.
the next day i was up too early so i decided to have starbucks rape me again before heading across the street to ny, ny. since i’ll never find myself in the actual city of ny, i figured i might as well visit something like it. after that was the tropicana before i headed to the room to check on the sleeping status of the rest of the gang. by 1pm we were checked out of the hotel and eating somewhere inside ny, ny when someone had the grand idea of going on the roller coaster ride. hmm, not generally a fan of roller coaster i convinced myself that it might be safe and perhaps even fun. fun yes. safe i don’t know. i think my head got snapped in way too many directions and my throat didn’t appreciate all the screaming, but we all made it to the end in one piece. after some more gambling and poker action at the mirage and monte carlo we decided to hit the wax museum. having never been to one before i found it to be quite interesting, though was disappointed to see the worse piece be mick jagger. even more cool was that it was free because polo decided to pay for it with his winning from getting a royal flush on video poker. actually, it should be said that quite a few things were compliments of ardie and polo (whom i can’t thank enough) which made being in vegas much cooler and more affordable than would be if i was on my own. after the museum and some more gambling it was time to hit the road, with a stop at the bar before calling it a night back in prescott.
saturday morning i slept in much more than i ever had on the trip and woke up to watch a few dukes of hazard episodes by myself before ardie showed up and brought me down to the bar to meet a few people. he had four friends – danny boy, vice, boobs and patty that were serious drinkers and were nice enough to buy me a few beers, some shots and a couple tamales. i had a blast talking to them and staring at the boobs, and they had a blast trying to get me to loosen up a bit. they convinced me that i need to head back out there next summer for a party at the bar already being planned over the 4th of july........sounded like a time not to miss. after a little investigative work that i should probably keep on the dl, ardie and i stopped by polo’s parents house for a bite to eat during a family reunion. having convinced a few of his family members to join us at the bar we drove down to matt’s longhorn saloon for yet another night of fun times drinking and dancing and listening to good music. i definitely drank too much that night but had a great time and was sad knowing it would be my last night at the bar.
the next day i woke up and watched a movie before packing up and getting ready for my trip back home, my LONG trip back home. we left the house at 3pm, just barely making it to the airport on time for my flight at 6:20. back at home i had remembered to leave my pocket knife/money clip in my bag, thinking i would be checking it and not taking it on board with me. but then i realized that i wouldn’t have time to get it from baggage claim in seattle before my next flight out so i brought it with me on the plane, or, i tried to. all hell broke loose as it went through the x-ray and i was grabbed and immediately brought to an interrogation room. it was at this point that i remembered what it probably was and felt a little bit relieved. long story short is that they took away my money clip that i have had for about 5 years now, so i was a bit annoyed. with about 10 minutes till my plane was to leave they let me go and i got on the plane starving and kind of pissed off. 3 hours later i was in seattle (taking my original flight back home from seattle, which was my cheapest option during the changing of plans) ready to grab something to eat, but as i was getting out of the gate from the plane i heard the announcement for my flight to boston (suppose to be an hour and a half delay) already being called out – “please board immediately for flight 6844 to boston as your seat will be sold if you are not on board.” now i’m really annoyed because its 9:45pm, the plane doesn’t leave until 11pm, and i have yet to eat more than a bowl of golden grams all day. i boarded the plane immediately though and waited until the plane was full (10:30pm) for our early departure, still unsure why we had to leave early, and never getting any kind of communication about the early departure. i arrived in boston at 7am having slept maybe an hour because my stomach was begging for food. i left the airport weak and tired having devoured two fucking donuts egg bagels. the ice coffee kept me awake enough to find my way home, but the work day was pretty much hell, even after 3 ice coffee’s.
most amazed by: matt’s longhorn saloon, the bellagio water show, how many incredibly nice people/family members ardie and polo have, how i was the only person in all of az with a beard (and got a lot of odd stares), and that pretty little cowgirl i met at the bar.
least impressed by: the heat in mexico
thankful for: knowing someone like ardie and polo who were gracious enough to let me come stay/visit
i took quite a few photos with my imaginary digital camera, and uploaded them to my imaginary ibook computer, which is probably why i haven’t posted any pictures from the trip yet.
miles driven: 1820
hours driven: 38.5
miles flown: 5,956
hours flown: 14 1/2
corona: 21
dos equis: 7
some other kind of mexican beer : 4
tequilla shots: 10
washington apples: 3
jagermeister shots: 6 (6 too many)
lemon drops: 1
questionable/unknown shots: 3
best quotes from trip:
“you know what’s missing from this bar? all the guys that live in vail.”
my response – “you think? what about all these cowboys though?”
“nothing here i’d like to ride.”
“can i get a show of hands for all the double d’s in the house!?”
“i’ll tell ya.......the odds are looking pretty good at this table.”
“i think his penis is the best i’ve ever seen, 6 inches and quite a bit of girth, just what i like.”
“raz did you think these tits are real? my god i’m 44 years old! do you think they’d still look this good at my age!?”
so there it is, one kick-ass trip. i had an awesome time and can’t thank polo and ardie enough for hosting me and showing me such a good time. i’m more than impressed with what they’ve done with their bar, their house and their condo in mexico. they were able to put up with me for longer than originally anticipated, and i thank them again and again for being able to do so. to all those that i met out there – polo (and family), pink, roanes, everyone at the bar, danny boy, boobs, vice, patty and everyone else i’m forgetting, thank you for showing me how great az is and for being so incredibly friendly!
thrown together by raz at 1:50 PM
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