my office has a window
the entire 7 floor building only has like 10 windows, so in a way i’m pretty lucky to have a window in my office. i was told when i started here that the building won some kind of award for its design. to this i said “bullshit, this building is just a load of brick and crap put together by someone completely retarded.” later the award was confirmed, along with my statement. but since then i’ve been trying to figure out why it won this award.
it took about a year and a half before i began to appreciate the design concept. i’m really starting to dig the castle-like features, especially the moat and the secret staircase. how many buildings do you know of that have a moat and a secret staircase? not only do we have a moat, but we have two drawbridges! – one on either side of the building! or, we used to at least. unfortunately they had to make the drawbridges permanent bridges like 20 years ago because in the winter/spring the bridges would expand/contract too much and started to fall apart. so now we’re stuck with boring permanent bridges, and pretty vulnerable to any kind of attack in my opinion.
i could tell more about this “castle” i work in, but this is really just about my window. so each window in the building is suppose to face or be positioned towards a certain open area where we would be in danger of cannon fire (to go along with the castle idea). i’ve always said they took the theme a little too far when it came to the lack of windows. but anyway, i’m up there on the 5th floor with a window that faces the cambridge common. my window is like the typical castle window – tall and skinny, but with glass. i have to say, i have a pretty incredible view. the window makes me want to stare out it like all the time. i stare out it and i daydream. i stare out it and just think. i stare out it and just watch. this is always when someone walks into my office and i have to turn around and tell them i was on guard duty, keeping an eye out for any cannon attack. if i had a camera i’d be able to show you how cool it looks when its snowing on the common. or when the sun sets over the city at night. or all the pretty colored trees in the fall. or the black tie parties in the gated backyard of the mansion next to us. or...........
to keep things incredibly boring and horribly written:
two months ago i’m looking out the window at the building below us and i’m watching some painters hop out of a truck and start to unload some ladders and paint and shit. its funny though, because just this spring i was thinking how the building needed new paint and that they would probably hire someone to do it this summer. having painted like a million houses myself i tried to give it a rough estimate, and i came up with the following: it would take 2 people 2 weeks to scrape, prime and give it two coats of paint, give or take for rainy weather. total bill would be somewhere around $5,000 – but then again i’d have to double check that because who knows what the markup is in cambridge. anyway, i’m more than curious how close i can come to this estimate and start to keep a close eye on the work that these painters are doing.
day 1, 10am: unloaded equipment. walked around house like 30 times. did a lot of pointing at cars parked in the parking lot right next to the house. sat in the shade and had lunch for about 2 hours (my kind of lunch!). left after lunch.
day 2, 10:30am: 1st worker arrives and sits on lawn, hour later 3 others arrive and do the same until the boss shows up and gives a speech for an hour or so, then he leaves. walked behind the shed and smoked a joint. then they continue to sit in the shade and talk until 3pm when they leave.
day 3, 10am: the 4 workers show up and put up a few ladders. its hot out, so they only spend about 10 minutes at a time up on the ladders scraping paint. no progress by lunchtime. after lunch and a joint behind the shed a buddy of theirs stops by on his new motorcycle, which they look at and talk about for about 2 hours, then quit for the day.
day 4,5,6,7,8,9 &10: repeat day 3 but add one more trip behind the shed for each new day.
day 11: first bucket of paint opened and the primer is applied. its about this time that i stop keeping track of their progress and realize its going to take these guys all summer to finish this house. instead i keep track of a few memorable moments:
-the time one of them spilled a bucket of paint all over himself. – he was at the top of the ladder and he stupidly set the bucket on the slanted roof above him as he was getting ready to paint on the other side of the ladder. the bucket tipped on its own as soon as he set it on the roof. funny shit as i look out and see him screaming for his buddies behind the shed. of course they quit for the day after that incident.
-the time they broke a windshield of a car when a ladder fell. (i didn’t see this actually happen unfortunately, i only saw the aftermath).
-the time one of them was moving a ladder and hit someone’s truck in the parking lot, putting a big dent in the drivers side door. watching them debate over what they were going to do about it was the best part. it took them like 20 minutes before they figured out it might be a good idea to tell the owner it was them – how else could the door have a monster dent in it after a day of sitting in a parking lot next to a bunch of people with ladders?
-the time i look down when i hear a loud crash and see that one of them has dropped a huge wooden shutter from the top of the ladder onto the central a/c unit beside the house. again i saw them try to cover their tracks real fast as if it never happened, cleaning up the broken shutter and hiding it behind the shed to fix later. then they smoked a joint over it and must have decided to tell because the next day i saw a repair truck pull in the drive to look over the central a/c unit.
-the many, many times the boss would show up while they were behind the shed smoking a joint. he would walk around the house, looking up at four empty ladders and start cursing and walking real fast towards the shed. then he’d get all pissed and start yelling and telling them they were slow as shit. for real, he would yell and they would say sorry and shit while heading back to the ladders. things never changed. the next day they’d be out there behind the shed with nobody on watch for the boss, smoking away, waiting to get yelled at.
and the thing about behind the shed is that they could go there and be hidden from everyone, everyone except me of course, because i’ve got my birds eye vantage point spy window. it was always fun to watch them behind the shed smoking and laughing and having a good time, relaxing and enjoying the only decent part of the job.
the work began on june 2nd and today is the 10th of august. i shit you not they are still working on this house. they are the slowest workers i have ever seen in my life and it must be costing the boss like a million dollars to pay these idiots for all these hours. i’m not sure how the boss has not fired these people and hired new painters, no way he is making money on this house. the more days they work the slower they become, if this is even possible, given they started at the slowest pace ever. the more days they work the more work they create - like the time they painted the trim on the back side the same color as the house. this annoyed the boss to no end, caused a major shouting ordeal, and added a good week to the whole job.
but i’m not all that concerned with how long it will take them. they can take all summer and fall for all i care, at least i’ll have something interesting to watch and laugh at for a couple more months.
it took about a year and a half before i began to appreciate the design concept. i’m really starting to dig the castle-like features, especially the moat and the secret staircase. how many buildings do you know of that have a moat and a secret staircase? not only do we have a moat, but we have two drawbridges! – one on either side of the building! or, we used to at least. unfortunately they had to make the drawbridges permanent bridges like 20 years ago because in the winter/spring the bridges would expand/contract too much and started to fall apart. so now we’re stuck with boring permanent bridges, and pretty vulnerable to any kind of attack in my opinion.
i could tell more about this “castle” i work in, but this is really just about my window. so each window in the building is suppose to face or be positioned towards a certain open area where we would be in danger of cannon fire (to go along with the castle idea). i’ve always said they took the theme a little too far when it came to the lack of windows. but anyway, i’m up there on the 5th floor with a window that faces the cambridge common. my window is like the typical castle window – tall and skinny, but with glass. i have to say, i have a pretty incredible view. the window makes me want to stare out it like all the time. i stare out it and i daydream. i stare out it and just think. i stare out it and just watch. this is always when someone walks into my office and i have to turn around and tell them i was on guard duty, keeping an eye out for any cannon attack. if i had a camera i’d be able to show you how cool it looks when its snowing on the common. or when the sun sets over the city at night. or all the pretty colored trees in the fall. or the black tie parties in the gated backyard of the mansion next to us. or...........
to keep things incredibly boring and horribly written:
two months ago i’m looking out the window at the building below us and i’m watching some painters hop out of a truck and start to unload some ladders and paint and shit. its funny though, because just this spring i was thinking how the building needed new paint and that they would probably hire someone to do it this summer. having painted like a million houses myself i tried to give it a rough estimate, and i came up with the following: it would take 2 people 2 weeks to scrape, prime and give it two coats of paint, give or take for rainy weather. total bill would be somewhere around $5,000 – but then again i’d have to double check that because who knows what the markup is in cambridge. anyway, i’m more than curious how close i can come to this estimate and start to keep a close eye on the work that these painters are doing.
day 1, 10am: unloaded equipment. walked around house like 30 times. did a lot of pointing at cars parked in the parking lot right next to the house. sat in the shade and had lunch for about 2 hours (my kind of lunch!). left after lunch.
day 2, 10:30am: 1st worker arrives and sits on lawn, hour later 3 others arrive and do the same until the boss shows up and gives a speech for an hour or so, then he leaves. walked behind the shed and smoked a joint. then they continue to sit in the shade and talk until 3pm when they leave.
day 3, 10am: the 4 workers show up and put up a few ladders. its hot out, so they only spend about 10 minutes at a time up on the ladders scraping paint. no progress by lunchtime. after lunch and a joint behind the shed a buddy of theirs stops by on his new motorcycle, which they look at and talk about for about 2 hours, then quit for the day.
day 4,5,6,7,8,9 &10: repeat day 3 but add one more trip behind the shed for each new day.
day 11: first bucket of paint opened and the primer is applied. its about this time that i stop keeping track of their progress and realize its going to take these guys all summer to finish this house. instead i keep track of a few memorable moments:
-the time one of them spilled a bucket of paint all over himself. – he was at the top of the ladder and he stupidly set the bucket on the slanted roof above him as he was getting ready to paint on the other side of the ladder. the bucket tipped on its own as soon as he set it on the roof. funny shit as i look out and see him screaming for his buddies behind the shed. of course they quit for the day after that incident.
-the time they broke a windshield of a car when a ladder fell. (i didn’t see this actually happen unfortunately, i only saw the aftermath).
-the time one of them was moving a ladder and hit someone’s truck in the parking lot, putting a big dent in the drivers side door. watching them debate over what they were going to do about it was the best part. it took them like 20 minutes before they figured out it might be a good idea to tell the owner it was them – how else could the door have a monster dent in it after a day of sitting in a parking lot next to a bunch of people with ladders?
-the time i look down when i hear a loud crash and see that one of them has dropped a huge wooden shutter from the top of the ladder onto the central a/c unit beside the house. again i saw them try to cover their tracks real fast as if it never happened, cleaning up the broken shutter and hiding it behind the shed to fix later. then they smoked a joint over it and must have decided to tell because the next day i saw a repair truck pull in the drive to look over the central a/c unit.
-the many, many times the boss would show up while they were behind the shed smoking a joint. he would walk around the house, looking up at four empty ladders and start cursing and walking real fast towards the shed. then he’d get all pissed and start yelling and telling them they were slow as shit. for real, he would yell and they would say sorry and shit while heading back to the ladders. things never changed. the next day they’d be out there behind the shed with nobody on watch for the boss, smoking away, waiting to get yelled at.
and the thing about behind the shed is that they could go there and be hidden from everyone, everyone except me of course, because i’ve got my birds eye vantage point spy window. it was always fun to watch them behind the shed smoking and laughing and having a good time, relaxing and enjoying the only decent part of the job.
the work began on june 2nd and today is the 10th of august. i shit you not they are still working on this house. they are the slowest workers i have ever seen in my life and it must be costing the boss like a million dollars to pay these idiots for all these hours. i’m not sure how the boss has not fired these people and hired new painters, no way he is making money on this house. the more days they work the slower they become, if this is even possible, given they started at the slowest pace ever. the more days they work the more work they create - like the time they painted the trim on the back side the same color as the house. this annoyed the boss to no end, caused a major shouting ordeal, and added a good week to the whole job.
but i’m not all that concerned with how long it will take them. they can take all summer and fall for all i care, at least i’ll have something interesting to watch and laugh at for a couple more months.
thrown together by raz at 8:30 AM
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