my letter to jetblue today:
dear jetblue,
you rock my world. you are the cool of cool. you are like no other. you have set a new standard for the airline industry.
how are you cool? –
those cool little tv’s in each seat?
those cool (unlimited!) little snacks and drinks?
those funny flight attendants and pilots?
the amazing amount of room in every seat?
those incredibly cheap fares?
tomorrow i’m leaving on a different airline and i’m sorry, i really am. but you don’t fly to phoenix from boston, or phoenix to seattle, or seattle to boston. why don’t you? you break my heart and i dread having to fly for so long without my little tv. now my only options are to just sit there and try to read or sleep, which is always impossible for me. i won’t be getting any cool snacks and drinks, instead i’ll be getting a miniature bag of peanuts and a soda instead of iced tea. i won’t be looking forward to the announcements from the flight attendants or the pilot, instead i’ll be trying to cover my ears and ignore them. and since i don’t have a first class ticket i’ll be crammed in next to joey-snores-a-lot and cathy-cries-a-lot instead of relaxing and stretching out in your leather lazy-boy recliner seats.
be warned blue, you need to watch out for the competition. that new ted airline that broke off of united? trouble. that new song airline that is giving out like a million new ipod mini’s and 10 million itunes songs? trouble. the fact that southwest now pays its customers to fly with them? trouble. that new independence airline that has those print ads that make absolutely no sense? well, shouldn’t be too much trouble.
can you do me a favor? can you start doing flights to seattle from boston? could you do that for me? i don’t do nyc at all so i can’t take your cheap jfk - tacoma flight ever. i’ve got a friend out there that i’d love to see more often but you just ain’t helping me here. help me help you. you fly into about 20 cities in florida, just slash one of those and open up a new logan – tacoma run. please?
in conclusion: keep the cheap eats and direct tv. keep on hiring those comedians that also know how to fly planes. keep an eye out for those idiots who are trying to steal your style. give yourself a pat on the back for being so innovative and keeping the cool. and open up that logan - tacoma run sooner than later.
lovin’ ya,
raz
you rock my world. you are the cool of cool. you are like no other. you have set a new standard for the airline industry.
how are you cool? –
those cool little tv’s in each seat?
those cool (unlimited!) little snacks and drinks?
those funny flight attendants and pilots?
the amazing amount of room in every seat?
those incredibly cheap fares?
tomorrow i’m leaving on a different airline and i’m sorry, i really am. but you don’t fly to phoenix from boston, or phoenix to seattle, or seattle to boston. why don’t you? you break my heart and i dread having to fly for so long without my little tv. now my only options are to just sit there and try to read or sleep, which is always impossible for me. i won’t be getting any cool snacks and drinks, instead i’ll be getting a miniature bag of peanuts and a soda instead of iced tea. i won’t be looking forward to the announcements from the flight attendants or the pilot, instead i’ll be trying to cover my ears and ignore them. and since i don’t have a first class ticket i’ll be crammed in next to joey-snores-a-lot and cathy-cries-a-lot instead of relaxing and stretching out in your leather lazy-boy recliner seats.
be warned blue, you need to watch out for the competition. that new ted airline that broke off of united? trouble. that new song airline that is giving out like a million new ipod mini’s and 10 million itunes songs? trouble. the fact that southwest now pays its customers to fly with them? trouble. that new independence airline that has those print ads that make absolutely no sense? well, shouldn’t be too much trouble.
can you do me a favor? can you start doing flights to seattle from boston? could you do that for me? i don’t do nyc at all so i can’t take your cheap jfk - tacoma flight ever. i’ve got a friend out there that i’d love to see more often but you just ain’t helping me here. help me help you. you fly into about 20 cities in florida, just slash one of those and open up a new logan – tacoma run. please?
in conclusion: keep the cheap eats and direct tv. keep on hiring those comedians that also know how to fly planes. keep an eye out for those idiots who are trying to steal your style. give yourself a pat on the back for being so innovative and keeping the cool. and open up that logan - tacoma run sooner than later.
lovin’ ya,
raz
thrown together by raz at 2:02 PM
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