and now for something incredibly old....
i’m very late to work on a mid-dec morning and i decide to stop at starbucks for some “juice” to perk me up.
i’m behind someone who i’ll call "the stupidest tool that ever tooled" and i watch an interesting conversation between this person and a starbucks employee…..
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (looking very tired, very stupid, very moronic, and very toolish, hence his name) “can i get an eggnog?, make that a tall eggnog i guess.”
starbucks employee: (looking chipper as ever, as they always are. i’m sure they’re required to drink espresso on a constant basis because i’ve never seen a tired starbucks employee. 9 in the morning and this dude is bouncing off walls and barking drink orders to his sidekick with holiday cheer.) “um, i’m sorry but we’re out of eggnog, can i get you something else?”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (i can now notice him actually getting stupider and more toolish as i stand behind him) “wait, you mean you literally don’t have anymore eggnog?”
starbucks employee: (now looking confused as ever at his question) “well, um, yes, we literally don’t have anymore eggnog”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (acting like any other customer not able to get eggnog at 9 in the morning - oh wait, nobody orders eggnog in the morning) “this is some kind of joke, right? you’re trying to tell me that you’ve literally run out of eggnog” (as if he hadn’t already used and emphasized that word enough, and in horrible context)
starbucks employee: (and i swear he said this) “i am literally telling you that we have literally run out of eggnog”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (not even catching wind of the employee making fun of him) “well um, well.......you guys are fucking liars! why would you be out of eggnog?! i don’t understand!” (after this intelligent retort he walks out, probably going into the library next door and demanding some eggnog from them).
starbucks employee: (talking to me and another starbucks employee when stupidest tool that ever tooled is out of the store) “well, you gotta love some parts of this job. where else do you meet really stupid people this early in the morning?”
i’m behind someone who i’ll call "the stupidest tool that ever tooled" and i watch an interesting conversation between this person and a starbucks employee…..
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (looking very tired, very stupid, very moronic, and very toolish, hence his name) “can i get an eggnog?, make that a tall eggnog i guess.”
starbucks employee: (looking chipper as ever, as they always are. i’m sure they’re required to drink espresso on a constant basis because i’ve never seen a tired starbucks employee. 9 in the morning and this dude is bouncing off walls and barking drink orders to his sidekick with holiday cheer.) “um, i’m sorry but we’re out of eggnog, can i get you something else?”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (i can now notice him actually getting stupider and more toolish as i stand behind him) “wait, you mean you literally don’t have anymore eggnog?”
starbucks employee: (now looking confused as ever at his question) “well, um, yes, we literally don’t have anymore eggnog”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (acting like any other customer not able to get eggnog at 9 in the morning - oh wait, nobody orders eggnog in the morning) “this is some kind of joke, right? you’re trying to tell me that you’ve literally run out of eggnog” (as if he hadn’t already used and emphasized that word enough, and in horrible context)
starbucks employee: (and i swear he said this) “i am literally telling you that we have literally run out of eggnog”
stupidest tool that ever tooled: (not even catching wind of the employee making fun of him) “well um, well.......you guys are fucking liars! why would you be out of eggnog?! i don’t understand!” (after this intelligent retort he walks out, probably going into the library next door and demanding some eggnog from them).
starbucks employee: (talking to me and another starbucks employee when stupidest tool that ever tooled is out of the store) “well, you gotta love some parts of this job. where else do you meet really stupid people this early in the morning?”
thrown together by raz at 2:52 PM
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