my secret service encounters
secret service men were loading up on peets coffee this morning.
how could i tell they were secret service? i asked and they told me.
when i asked who they were secretly servicing they were quick to give me an answer that consisted soley of blank stares. then one of them drew a deep breath and explained how they weren’t allowed to say anything. i told them i understood, that i work in secret myself, so if they need to keep it on the dl i’d understand. they didn’t budge. then i said they prob had the bubba detail since they were now walking out of peets and towards the charles hotel. this prompted them to make a quick detour and ask me how i knew so much. i left it at that and walked back to work.
only i didn’t really. i’m walking down mt auburn because i don’t want to get back to the office so quick. i see a black cadillac with tinted windows sitting outside of darwins. on the bumper there’s this sticker that says “bush in ’00.” i knock on the window and yet another secret service dude is looking at me but not saying “what?” i took his silence to mean that i should start the convo – “whatcha all doing outside darwins? the fleet center is downtown man.” the dude thanks me for the info and asks for d’s to the fleet center. i tell him only if they’ll tell me who they’re guarding. “no prob, we’re here with W and he’s in there grabbing us some sandwiches.” i say “wouldn’t that be your job?” he says that the prez had nothing better to do really, he ran out of dvd’s to watch in the back and has been begging to get out of the car since they left washington late last night.
it’s only now that it hits me how odd this situation is. i ask “why is the prez in cambridge on the monday of the DNC?” they say “can you keep a secret?” “the prez insisted that the convention was for republicans and wanted to be driven up in secret just in case all his advisors turned out to be right for once.” i tell him that’s completely understandable.
then i ask him about the old bumper sticker. they tell me that at this point they might as well wait to see if he’s won the election before putting up a new one. smart cookies these guys are, for sure. then they ask if i want to go for a ride or try on their ear pieces. i have to draw the line here, because i’m not even on first lunch yet and i’ve already been gone like a ½ hour. but before i head off they ask me if i want to at least jump in the back seat and smoke down a fat one before W gets back. but then the dude in the back pipes up and says “shouldn’t we at least wait for the prez to get back since its his weed?” i tell them to go ahead without me and to take care, they tell me to take it easy.
i never did get to giving them those directions.
how could i tell they were secret service? i asked and they told me.
when i asked who they were secretly servicing they were quick to give me an answer that consisted soley of blank stares. then one of them drew a deep breath and explained how they weren’t allowed to say anything. i told them i understood, that i work in secret myself, so if they need to keep it on the dl i’d understand. they didn’t budge. then i said they prob had the bubba detail since they were now walking out of peets and towards the charles hotel. this prompted them to make a quick detour and ask me how i knew so much. i left it at that and walked back to work.
only i didn’t really. i’m walking down mt auburn because i don’t want to get back to the office so quick. i see a black cadillac with tinted windows sitting outside of darwins. on the bumper there’s this sticker that says “bush in ’00.” i knock on the window and yet another secret service dude is looking at me but not saying “what?” i took his silence to mean that i should start the convo – “whatcha all doing outside darwins? the fleet center is downtown man.” the dude thanks me for the info and asks for d’s to the fleet center. i tell him only if they’ll tell me who they’re guarding. “no prob, we’re here with W and he’s in there grabbing us some sandwiches.” i say “wouldn’t that be your job?” he says that the prez had nothing better to do really, he ran out of dvd’s to watch in the back and has been begging to get out of the car since they left washington late last night.
it’s only now that it hits me how odd this situation is. i ask “why is the prez in cambridge on the monday of the DNC?” they say “can you keep a secret?” “the prez insisted that the convention was for republicans and wanted to be driven up in secret just in case all his advisors turned out to be right for once.” i tell him that’s completely understandable.
then i ask him about the old bumper sticker. they tell me that at this point they might as well wait to see if he’s won the election before putting up a new one. smart cookies these guys are, for sure. then they ask if i want to go for a ride or try on their ear pieces. i have to draw the line here, because i’m not even on first lunch yet and i’ve already been gone like a ½ hour. but before i head off they ask me if i want to at least jump in the back seat and smoke down a fat one before W gets back. but then the dude in the back pipes up and says “shouldn’t we at least wait for the prez to get back since its his weed?” i tell them to go ahead without me and to take care, they tell me to take it easy.
i never did get to giving them those directions.
thrown together by raz at 1:43 PM
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