carless for life

i know i don’t have money. usually.

i know i don’t own a car. usually.

i know i want to get a car. eventually.

i know i will get a car. sometime.

but how do you decide what car to get? if you have the money to buy a car and you’re looking for a car then how do you decide?

i watch like 400 ads for new cars on tv a day.

i hear like 500 ads for new cars or dealerships on the radio like every week.

i see like 600 ads for new cars in magazines and billboards each month.

i go past like 700 new car dealerships a year.

i still don’t know what car i would buy if i had the money.

after all this advertising shouldn’t i know by now which car i want to buy?

aren’t i in the key age group that all these car manufacturers target?

i’m clueless and i’m disappointed. because if i ever had the money to buy a new car then i don’t want to bother with spending the time trying to figure out which one i want. my mind should already be made up. all these years of watching and listening to these ads would be for not. and i feel bad for all these manufacturers and their advertising companies. i mean they’ve spent all that money on me trying to get me to buy their car, but i still don’t have a clue.

does anyone else know what car they want? am i the only person in the world who is like this?

i have to be the only person. everyone else with new cars figured out what they wanted. i wouldn’t even know where to start.

don’t get me wrong, i know generally what i’d get. if i suddenly won the lottery then maybe i’d be looking at a bmw or mercedes or audi or some shit. if i earned about $80k a year maybe i’d look at a volvo or vw or something. if i earned more than $20k a year i’d look at some kind of toyota or something.

but it gets worse.

because i don’t even know if i’d buy a car or a truck. or even what color it would be if i did know.

not only am i clueless about which company to go with, i don’t even know what type of new vehicle to go with!

i give all the marketers for new vehicles in the entire world a D- for effort on persuading me to buy a new vehicle.

the new infinity G35? not convinced.

the new bmw 7 series? not a chance.

the redesigned saab cross trainer 9-ass? don’t like.

the new ford f-150? ugly.

the vw golf? too expensive for something so basic.

so you see i do know a few things. but one of the jobs for a company marketing products is to eliminate the key features of the product that turn consumers away. this becomes easy when the product stays on the market for a long time. product was too expensive? lets cut some corners here and there. product wasn’t expensive enough? lets double the price. product wasn’t selling to the younger crowd? lets redesign the packaging.

car companies redesign every car that comes out. the next year they release a newer and better version. each and every company does this. at some point you would think that there was a car out there that caught my eye, and then went even further and grabbed my attention one day when the new model was released. because there are cars out there for everyone. each model is designed for a certain person. the cadillac seville? 84% of their buyers are age 54 and above. the vw golf? 23-31 age group. the bmw 5 series? designed for people that earn 70-110K a year, the 7 series is designed for those above 110k/year, and they make damn sure to put you in the right category, they have a brand to represent and they don’t want the wrong crowd taking over their look.

but hello?

how come i’m not in a category yet? which category should i be in? where do i fit in this puzzle? don’t these companies want to get a hold of me and start asking me questions? shouldn’t i be in some group counseling or focus group helping to figure out why i’ve yet to make up my mind? shouldn’t car companies just be giving me cars at this point since i haven’t figured it out yet? this problem is too expensive for them! they can’t afford to lose me! no way am i worth a lifetime of sales loss to them at my age because i don’t know what car to buy! this is outragous!

i do not have “the feeling.” i certainly do not need something that is “like a rock.” i don’t know what the hell “ford tough” is. i do not know what the tag line “driven” really means. i know if i buy a volvo it will be “for life.” i know i will “never follow” if i buy an audi. i know that a mercedes is “engineered like no other car in the world” – thank you for pointing out the obvious, as if we had no idea a mercedes was different than hyundai. and if inspiration really comes standard with chrysler then sign me up.

help me, help you. tell me what to buy. tell me which car is suppose to be mine. point me in the right direction. i want to finally say “oh yes, i forgot about that model, i knew there was a car out there meant for me!”