sometimes i'll go grocery shopping
like last night. i usually like going by myself because i can stop and take my time appreciating situations like this while i’m trying to pick out my pasta sauce:
i keep hearing this really annoying loud shrieking noise from somewhere in the store, so i decide to go investigate. this older mother (she looks old anyway) has this baby sitting in the cart. the baby thinks its very funny when it shrieks randomly, making people walk by kind of jump. the mother does not find this that funny, but doesn’t do anything about it. i think this is strange and follow them around for a bit to make sure i’m seeing this correctly. i mean, if it were my kid i’d be sick of listening to the shrieks and tell the kid to shut the fuck up like forever ago. so i’m walking around following them and sure enough the mother can’t even hear the kid, or is pretending not to anyway. and the kid isn’t even looking at the mother, the kid is only paying attention to customers walking by, so we know he doesn’t care about mother at this point. i can’t stop following them and watching this. i mean i’m starting to hate the kid right now for shreiking so much, but i’m also beginning to wonder why the mother won’t save us all and tell the kid to shut up. but i’m worse than that, because i’m also waiting for some poor soul to tell the mother to do something about the kid, because i can tell the mother is about to blow. and then it happens. i’ve followed them for 3 isles now waiting for this. two older women, maybe 70 or 75 are trying to pick out the best head of lettuce in the produce area. they see and hear the loud as fuck kid coming towards them and decide to say something to the mother: “excuse me, but would you mind doing something about all this noise he seems to be making?” the mother replies, rather exhausted like: “yeah, i’ve tried and it doesn’t do any good.” one of the older women decides to press further: “well, i have 10 grandchildren, and none of them ever acted the way your child is now, what he needs is a good slap across the face, or at least bring him out to the car to save us all.” mother does not like this one bit as she responds using a VERY loud voice and in hysterics now: “WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KID? I’LL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL THINK IS BEST THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” she is now in tears as she races towards the check-out. i just stand there and listen to one old woman tell the other: “that woman is just as crazy as the kid, if he were my grandchild he’d have gotten a slap across the mouth the first time, and there wouldn’t even have been a second time.”
later on i hear another kid tell his mother in the cereal isle: “i think i just pee’d my pants.”
ah, nothing like going grocery shopping and not having kids.
i keep hearing this really annoying loud shrieking noise from somewhere in the store, so i decide to go investigate. this older mother (she looks old anyway) has this baby sitting in the cart. the baby thinks its very funny when it shrieks randomly, making people walk by kind of jump. the mother does not find this that funny, but doesn’t do anything about it. i think this is strange and follow them around for a bit to make sure i’m seeing this correctly. i mean, if it were my kid i’d be sick of listening to the shrieks and tell the kid to shut the fuck up like forever ago. so i’m walking around following them and sure enough the mother can’t even hear the kid, or is pretending not to anyway. and the kid isn’t even looking at the mother, the kid is only paying attention to customers walking by, so we know he doesn’t care about mother at this point. i can’t stop following them and watching this. i mean i’m starting to hate the kid right now for shreiking so much, but i’m also beginning to wonder why the mother won’t save us all and tell the kid to shut up. but i’m worse than that, because i’m also waiting for some poor soul to tell the mother to do something about the kid, because i can tell the mother is about to blow. and then it happens. i’ve followed them for 3 isles now waiting for this. two older women, maybe 70 or 75 are trying to pick out the best head of lettuce in the produce area. they see and hear the loud as fuck kid coming towards them and decide to say something to the mother: “excuse me, but would you mind doing something about all this noise he seems to be making?” the mother replies, rather exhausted like: “yeah, i’ve tried and it doesn’t do any good.” one of the older women decides to press further: “well, i have 10 grandchildren, and none of them ever acted the way your child is now, what he needs is a good slap across the face, or at least bring him out to the car to save us all.” mother does not like this one bit as she responds using a VERY loud voice and in hysterics now: “WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY KID? I’LL DO WHATEVER I DAMN WELL THINK IS BEST THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” she is now in tears as she races towards the check-out. i just stand there and listen to one old woman tell the other: “that woman is just as crazy as the kid, if he were my grandchild he’d have gotten a slap across the mouth the first time, and there wouldn’t even have been a second time.”
later on i hear another kid tell his mother in the cereal isle: “i think i just pee’d my pants.”
ah, nothing like going grocery shopping and not having kids.
thrown together by raz at 12:30 PM
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