fleet screwed me up the ass
and it hurt.
i think it might be nice to get my roommate a card and some euro cash to buy a few drinks at a cafe over in italy or france or spain or the port of who-knows-where when he takes off for the euro this weekend. you know, so he can sit and relax and think about how much more fun he’s having over there than i am right here. i know i don’t do nice things for people, but this time i did. figures i’d get screwed while trying to do this. watch me ever do anything nice for someone again.
so its like a million degrees outside today when i walk to the bank. i get to fleet and almost pass-out at the doorstep. i hike down the stairs and go to the international teller. i tell her what i need for cash, she gives it to me, all is good. i’m turning around to walk out and she says “i’m sorry, i should have told you this before our transaction but we’re going to charge you $3 for doing the exchange.” i have to wonder how much more they could rape me on this deal. i mean, they already charge like 20% more than the current exchange rate to do the exchange, then a $3 charge on top of that?! so i tell her that she’s crazy, only i don’t. before i go nuts on her ass she explains how i should go upstairs and do the transaction at an atm for free, and she’ll just put in a refund request. i ask her if she can just put in the request and call it even, but no. she has to take the money back and i have to go upstairs and start over. nice way to handle the situation fleet, really nice. so i trek upstairs all pissed off and put my card into the atm. i thought the sign above the atm said “currency exchanges only.” and it did, only it didn’t say international. turns out it didn’t matter anyway because the atm ate my card. i told an employee who said back to me, and i’m not kidding: “oh, yeah, that machine will do that sometimes for no reason.” nice. that makes sense fleet, really, keep the machine in operation, good idea. so she gets me into line so i can get a new card, and i should probably mention that she was really hot. like i-can’t-keep-my-eyes-off-you kind of hot. but that has nothing to do with the story. i wait like 20 minutes and then they work on getting me a temporary card. they tell me that i can use this card right now, but that i’ll get a new card in the mail in like a week to 10 days. things are starting to get better now, but it only lasts about 30 seconds. i’m at the right atm now, and ready to insert my card and have it eat that one too. but it doesn’t and i’m feeling good. i push 2 $20 bills into the machine and tell it i want a 20 euro bill and the rest in change. only the machine is dumb and it doesn’t like to give change. it doesn’t like to give ANY change. sure, i got my 20 euro bill, but there should def be some change coming to the raz! i’m not as pissed as i should be, maybe because i can now go back to can’t-keep-my-eyes-off-you girl. i tell her i may be hot and tired and pissed off but i swear to god that machine over there forgot to give me change. she kind of smiles because she knows my whole bank situation today. i tell her what happened and she said not to worry about it, that she knows what my account is from my previous problem, and that i should just get going and she’ll refund me the cash into my account. thank you fleet. you did the right thing, finally. only you owe me much more now for all the trouble you’ve given me today. i won’t mind a bit if you decide to throw an extra hundred into my account. i get back to my office an hour later and decide to check my bank account online. only it gives me the following message:
“Your temporary Fleet Total Access Check Card or Fleet 24-Hour Access Card cannot be used to login to Fleet HomeLink or Fleet OfficeLink. You may access Fleet HomeLink or Fleet OfficeLink when you receive your permanent card.”
fuck me over a barrel. this is not a good message to receive when you’re poor as fuck and you have to check your online statement like every hour because you live paycheck to paycheck and need to keep a constant eye on the balance. i like to know when those porn site bills hit my account. i like to know when that monster cable bill goes through and drains the raz account. today is payday and i got money flying out faster than its coming in, need to keep track of this shit fleet! frigging send me my card already or make this temp card work else i’m comin at ya fleet! not a happy customer here fleet! fair warning!
i think it might be nice to get my roommate a card and some euro cash to buy a few drinks at a cafe over in italy or france or spain or the port of who-knows-where when he takes off for the euro this weekend. you know, so he can sit and relax and think about how much more fun he’s having over there than i am right here. i know i don’t do nice things for people, but this time i did. figures i’d get screwed while trying to do this. watch me ever do anything nice for someone again.
so its like a million degrees outside today when i walk to the bank. i get to fleet and almost pass-out at the doorstep. i hike down the stairs and go to the international teller. i tell her what i need for cash, she gives it to me, all is good. i’m turning around to walk out and she says “i’m sorry, i should have told you this before our transaction but we’re going to charge you $3 for doing the exchange.” i have to wonder how much more they could rape me on this deal. i mean, they already charge like 20% more than the current exchange rate to do the exchange, then a $3 charge on top of that?! so i tell her that she’s crazy, only i don’t. before i go nuts on her ass she explains how i should go upstairs and do the transaction at an atm for free, and she’ll just put in a refund request. i ask her if she can just put in the request and call it even, but no. she has to take the money back and i have to go upstairs and start over. nice way to handle the situation fleet, really nice. so i trek upstairs all pissed off and put my card into the atm. i thought the sign above the atm said “currency exchanges only.” and it did, only it didn’t say international. turns out it didn’t matter anyway because the atm ate my card. i told an employee who said back to me, and i’m not kidding: “oh, yeah, that machine will do that sometimes for no reason.” nice. that makes sense fleet, really, keep the machine in operation, good idea. so she gets me into line so i can get a new card, and i should probably mention that she was really hot. like i-can’t-keep-my-eyes-off-you kind of hot. but that has nothing to do with the story. i wait like 20 minutes and then they work on getting me a temporary card. they tell me that i can use this card right now, but that i’ll get a new card in the mail in like a week to 10 days. things are starting to get better now, but it only lasts about 30 seconds. i’m at the right atm now, and ready to insert my card and have it eat that one too. but it doesn’t and i’m feeling good. i push 2 $20 bills into the machine and tell it i want a 20 euro bill and the rest in change. only the machine is dumb and it doesn’t like to give change. it doesn’t like to give ANY change. sure, i got my 20 euro bill, but there should def be some change coming to the raz! i’m not as pissed as i should be, maybe because i can now go back to can’t-keep-my-eyes-off-you girl. i tell her i may be hot and tired and pissed off but i swear to god that machine over there forgot to give me change. she kind of smiles because she knows my whole bank situation today. i tell her what happened and she said not to worry about it, that she knows what my account is from my previous problem, and that i should just get going and she’ll refund me the cash into my account. thank you fleet. you did the right thing, finally. only you owe me much more now for all the trouble you’ve given me today. i won’t mind a bit if you decide to throw an extra hundred into my account. i get back to my office an hour later and decide to check my bank account online. only it gives me the following message:
“Your temporary Fleet Total Access Check Card or Fleet 24-Hour Access Card cannot be used to login to Fleet HomeLink or Fleet OfficeLink. You may access Fleet HomeLink or Fleet OfficeLink when you receive your permanent card.”
fuck me over a barrel. this is not a good message to receive when you’re poor as fuck and you have to check your online statement like every hour because you live paycheck to paycheck and need to keep a constant eye on the balance. i like to know when those porn site bills hit my account. i like to know when that monster cable bill goes through and drains the raz account. today is payday and i got money flying out faster than its coming in, need to keep track of this shit fleet! frigging send me my card already or make this temp card work else i’m comin at ya fleet! not a happy customer here fleet! fair warning!
thrown together by raz at 3:09 PM
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